Corrupted

Chapter 14

-"Oh my," exclaimed Brenn as soon as he entered the room. Kroos followed him shortly after. They both opened their arms ready to shield my eyes from the tragic scenery: My mother, with a rope around her neck, hanging from the ceiling. Impulsively, I fell in Kroos' arms. My brain stopped functioning properly. What must she have thought before inhaling her last breath? 

Brenn approached her dangling body. At the bottom of her feet was a small scrap of paper, and he picked it up. 

-"Take the paper and go downstairs with Emily. I'll handle this." 

When Kroos was reluctant to oblige to Brenn's orders, he screamed, "TAKE. THE PAPER. AND GO. DOWNSTAIRS! NOW!"

He did not hesitate to obey. In a matter of seconds, we were seated on the couch in the family room. 

-"Give me the letter," I said with a cold voice. My face was pale, my body motionless.

It read:

I cannot live with this. I killed them both, and I cannot take it anymore. How can you live in a world where the person you hate the most is yourself? I cannot, ever, forgive myself for what I have done. I knew about Helena's sneaking off to the well, but instead of being a good mother, I provided her with an excuse to go every now and then. Everytime she confessed her deep love for Kroos and how she feared about her father finding out, my heart ached for her. Every time she pleaded for my support and acceptance my heart ached even more, and then she was gone, all because I did not protect her like I should have. Like a real mother should have.

When Lars came over, it was like a spring of hope. Almost like a second chance to be the good mother I was supposed to be, but I ended up killing him aswell. I should have never suggested that you take him with you. His death shatered my already broken heart.

I can never apologize enough for the mistakes I've made. I would gladly trade places with them, but I can't, so I've decided to join them. It was never my intentions to ruin your life Lukas, believe me. I loved you dearly and with all my heart, but how can you continue to love when your heart is ripped out brutally twice? I have failed Helena. I have faild Lars . I have failed Lukas. I have failed my entire family.

Emily, I wish that you'll be able to forgive me. I hope that one day you'll realize how much I loved you, but also how afraid I was that if I stay near you any longer, I'll end up harming you just like the others.

Maybe this was my last chance at making things right, at protecting you, but that also was taken away from me. Now Brenn will take care of you. I knew that love was what I saw in his eyes, it's a motherly instinct. At least I hope it was considering my not so strong and right motherly instincts. I just wish whenever you think of me, think about the time when we were a happy family, and when I was your Idol just like you had once told me.

Words cannot express my pain and love for you, but with time, I'll become a stained memory in the back of your head. I can't expect you to understand, just know that I profoundly wish that I could have been a better mother to you and a better wife to your father.

Tears were flowing none stop. Excrutiating pain coursed through my entire body. Mother was afraid of hurting me, but little did she know that, right now, at this very moment, a dagger was skewing my weak heart.

Moments later, an emotionless, pale-faced Brenn sat next to me and wrapped his arms around me. I sobbed in his arms for hours while he wiped my tears away. First Helena, then Lars, and now my mother. All the people that I've lost, and to whom? To a ghost. A faceless ghost. 

The scattered images started to recollect in my head; he was not faceless after all. I've seen the mischievious look in his dead eyes, the dirty blond hair on his head and the tall husky figure of a murderer. 

-"We know how he looks like. We can go to the station and give them Lars' drawings."

-"Emily, can we stop talking about that for a moment? This is not the perfect time," said Brenn softly.

And indeed it wasn't. I was just trying to be strong, but I'm fragile. I'm more vulnerable than I've ever been. I'm defenceless and exposed. 

-"Let's get you to bed," stated Brenn.

-"I can take care of her now, I'll tuck her in. Don't worry about her," proposed Kroos with a supple tone.

-"No, no. It's better if I take her. My mind won't be at ease if I leave her right now," replied Brenn, but this time, he was not arguing nor fighting, he spoke to Kroos with an understanding voice. It's like he has finally seen through his genuine intentions.

-"But, someone needs to..how am I..going to tell him..tell my father!" I sniveled.

-"I'll go to the Bakery and break the news to him, we've been very close lately. It'll give you two some time alone."