Outliers and Misfits

Chatter

As the sun slips behind the hill and casts the river into shadow, Jared steps onto the bank and takes a long, deep breath. Planting his feet hip-width apart, he lets his arms hang at his sides and his palms brush his thighs. Slowly, he breathes out and remembers what he’s been taught.

Stay in the present. Stay calm. Allow the sounds around you to enter your awareness, but don’t focus on them. Let them float by, like clouds in the sky.

Again, he breathes in, and then, as he pushes out his next breath, he tries.

Wind. He can hear the wind. It’s only a breeze. Only a whisper. Leaves rustle. Branches creak …

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Water. There’s water. The river. Rushing. Bubbling. Gushing. Hissing …

Just breathe. Breathe in. Breathe out.

A bird. Tweeting. A robin maybe. Calling. Crying …

Come on! In. Out.

I’ll be home by six. What are we having for dinner?

Gush. Creak. Rustle …

What do you mean you forgot to buy milk? Do I have to do everything myself …

Whisper. Rush. Hiss. Call …

You won’t believe what he did next! He only went and kissed … Don’t be late … Call me … I keep meaning to watch that but … Mine’s a beer … Don’t ever call me again … Can you pick Layla up from school … My sense of direction is terrible … There’s a tree down … No. I’m allergic to dogs … If you’re there, pick up …

With a cry, Jared drops to his knees. The pebbles fire arrows of pain up his thighs. He pounds the dirt, over and over, until his fists bleed. It’s been twelve months since he left the city, twelve months since he came to this valley to escape the constant noise, the constant voices, but he still can’t do it, he still can’t not focus, he still can’t tune them out. Even here, the chatter finds him.

This is pointless, he thinks and lets himself topple. He rolls onto his back and stares up at the sky.

For a while, he stays there, making wishes on the clouds that saunter into view, but as the air begins to cool, Jared begins to shiver, so he climbs to his feet. This really is pointless, he thinks. I may as well go home. With that, the decision is made. Jared closes his eyes, and this time, when he pushes out his breath, he pushes out his mind – out and up.

On the backs of his eyelids, fireworks explode. Lines of every colour score the darkness, twisting and turning and shooting this way and that. Resolved now, he reaches up, grabs one and yanks it down. It fizzes and cracks, but his mind holds on tight. It’s been ages since he’s done this, so he’s not sure how long it’ll him take to untangle all the lines of communication, but once he does, he’ll be able to call home and tell them he’s finally on his way back.

(This story first appeared on the Ether Books app.)