A Conversation with Successful Persons

ACWSP

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After I hang myself in a rope inside my room, I felt my body gave up and I'm out of my breath. As I close my eyes, I smiled and thought of my last words to myself "I will finally be happy..."

I am shocked because I am still alive. Am I right? Am I still alive or I am now a, uhm what do you called those? A soul? Am I a soul now? I pinched my nose and I can still feel myself. What happened? The last time I checked, I am already a dead person.

I looked around and I am dumbstruck because of what I saw. I am in a wide white room–a pure white room. As I walked around the room. I saw a group of people laughing. They stopped when they felt my presence. They gave me their sweetest smile and even invited me to join them.

I guess there's nothing wrong if I come and join them, right? After all, I think I have no choice.

I sat beside a woman and I was shocked when I met her eyes.

She! She is my highschool teacher! I know she also remembers me. We're both taken a back on what to say to each other. She suddenly just hugged me tightly, "Why are you here, sweetie?"

I smiled bitterly as I loosen our tight hug. I looked at her eyes and I can't see any pain. I can only see happiness in her eyes.

What should I answer to her? That I am, uhm ended my own life because of those damn problems of mine?

"You're too young to be dead..." another man said. I looked to that man and I saw his uniform. He is wearing a soldier's uniform.

I just smiled.

I looked again to my teacher and I asked her, "Ma'am? Where are we? Is this heaven?" I want to laugh at my own question.

My teacher smiled, "This is a place where we reminisce moments when we're still alive. After this, we will just dissapear." I nodded.

I asked her another question, "Why did you died, Ma'am?"

She answered, "I died because of my age. I am really old. But I am glad that I died teaching youths. I'm glad that I shared my knowledge to my students before I die,”

"Me! I died protecting our country. I died fighting. How important patriotism is! I love giving service to the country where I am raised and I'm proud of it!" –the soldier said. He is cheerful and very energetic. His wide smile is contagious.

"Same here!" - a policeman said while raising his right hand.

"I died because of a disease, but I am happy that I helped many people to cure their illnesses. I'm proud that I died helping those who needs a doctor. I really don't want to be a doctor but I've loved this profession since the day I entered hospital. I feel like it's my job to help others," - a beautiful doctor said.

I looked at the two remaining persons inside this room "I died protecting this man..." the Security guard pointed out another man. I looked to that man, I was shocked when I realized that he is a government official.

"I died helping my constituents. I gave loyalty to my fellowmen and even I was shoot by an enemy. Still, I am happy that I did my part as a government official of our country," the government official said.

I looked at them. They were so happy. They accepted their fate. I smiled when I realized that they do good things before they died. They've done a lot of things not just for themselves but for others also. They don't lived their life for their own, they lived it with others.

"You all looked so happy and satisfied. Seems like you've lived your life so perfect," I said as I took a glance to each of them.

The soldier answered me, "No, it wasn't. There were a lot of times where I wanted to just surrender because of so many trials in life that keeps on bombarding me. But you know, I think of my family. I think of my friends. What would they be if I were gone? If I end my life? It would just cause them a heartbreak and I don't want that,"
I just nodded.

My teacher added, "It's really hard to battle against life, but quitting is never a choice. Yes, it may seem so difficult but with God's grace everything will be perfectly fine. Trust our Source. Trust Him,”

Now, I don't know what to feel anymore. My body is shaking and I want to burst out and cry. Hearing this words from a successful persons? It made me feel regret. It made me feel to want to live again.

If only I can manipulate time, I would rather fight than to succumb. I thought ending my own life would help to end agony and pain but no.

The security guard asked me, "What's the cause of your death, young lady?" I looked at them all, "Thank you for making me realized everything,”

Their eyes are questioning me. They're confused of what I said.

"I died nothing. I didn't even do good things when I am still alive. I envy you all, you died happy and with a purpose. But me? I died because I just want to. How I wish to live again and correct my mistakes. To love those who loves me and to appreciate those who appreciates me. I was destructed by my thoughts and was eated by my own problems. When I was still alive, I really don't know my purpose. And that's my biggest regret. To die without knowing my purpose as a person. I never tried to look for the beauty of the world,”

“I never tried, and it's damn killing me inside until now that I am already dead,"

The End.

A Conversation With Successful Persons