Heart Line ~♡

Chapter 15- "How can I continue?"

Loren's pov

After that day, my life really never was the same. Rita helped me out she was nice enough to clean up the mess and I had no idea how she got me in the shower, she washed up my scars like if they could have ever been washed out. I stared into space just practically sitting there with no emotion or expression what so ever, I was tired. I was beyond tired, I was done. Done with this, done with what he would do, done with this life I lived in, I was done with everything and I mean everything. I sat there on the tub as she washed my body and the warm water ran through my body, I stared at the wall in my bathroom with no expression what so ever. Rita dried my body and combined my hair, she even helped me get dressed. She sat me on my bed and got me a hot honey-lemon tea, she forced my mouth opened with her fingers dropping a few dots at a time. After a week had passed, I still didn't have emotion or no reply. I didn't bother to go to work, Rita helped make an excuse for me and she even took the liberty to call a doctor to come see me. The doctor asked her so many questions and gave her well what all doctor's do, give a card to refer you to another specialist when they have no idea how to take care of the problem. He had referred me to a psychiatrist, to my disadvantage my psychiatrist turned to be none other than Liam. He treated me every two weeks but as he made me questions all I ever did was not reply and stare out the window, to my surprise he didn't grow tired of it. He prescribed me medicine to help me sleep at night because apparently to Rita I kept waking her up with my screams, she would tell him that I would have nightmares but I wouldn't talk still. I guess it had already been two months of torture at night, me sweating and screaming and through the day motionless. She tried so hard but I couldn't speak, I didn't want to. I had no energy in me what so ever, apparently Neymar would go by my office and I heard he once called here but they assigned him a different doctor in the meantime telling him what Rita had said that I was on vacation. To my surprise Mark didn't show up at my home but he did torture me in my dreams, I feared him like I had never feared anyone else in my life. Liam stuck around still monitoring me though I could tell how frustrated he started becoming with having no good news of me improving, I think six months had passed by now and I still was the same. Rita thought that Sadie would be the key to snap me out of my unconscious state but even my dog couldn't help me at all. I was surprised no one gave up on me, like I had given up on myself. All I wanted was to die but all they wanted me to do was to react to any expression, or make any comment possible but for some reason I couldn't do that.

....
8 Months later.... (Meaning 2 more months passed after the six)

"Loren! This is beyond madness, already eight months I been treating you and not a single movement or word. If you don't tell me how can I help you? What ever happened don't let it get to you, there's a life outside your room and it's about time to face it so here we go" he said pulling something from his suitcase, I shifted my gaze to the noise his suitcase made as he pulled out a big folder.

"Well I think I got a reaction, let's see how this works out" he said.

He pulled something out of his folder and looked at me as I glanced at him and then at the paper he was holding, well what seemed like a paper at least to me.

"Good, eye contact seems to work. Your interested in what I have here, I see"

He turned the paper around to face me and it was a picture, my eyes widened and I scouted to the header of my bed as I screamed and cried. He stood up and grabbed both my arms and he cupped my face, my eyes shifted to the side and back to him in a back and forth motion.

"Look at me, it's just a picture. Rita described him and when I showed her if it was him, she said it was. We are going to make process here but only if you want to be helped and if you help me too" he said as I looked into his eyes and hugged him tight as I sobbed.

"I know, I can imagine the pain he caused you just look at your face" he said.

I removed my hands from him and I got up to my bare feet, I looked at him and without losing eye contact I undressed myself in front of him. He looked at me with a blank expression, as I took my shirt off and tossed it on the bed. I unbuttoned my jeans and dropped them down, I looked at him as I reached to the back of my bra to unclip it while one of his hands covered his mouth and the other reached out to stop me.

"That's enough" he said as I leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor as I sobbed. He came and sat next to me, he stroked my head while one of his other hands squeezed my shoulder and rubbed it.

"I can help, get you out of this hole you have dug yourself in. Help you with your fear of him but I need you to reach out to me, I need you to tell me you want to be helped if not then I can't really force you" he said as I lifted my face and turned to look at him.

"You think I can over come this?"

"You already have, you finally spoke that's a good start" he said as I smiled

"I want him gone but he hurts me, he has control over me and I... I fear him" I say looking down at my bare feet.

"You won't once I am done doing my job but you decide, or you stay there on the floor and let him control your life and walk all over you or you stand up and start making something of your life with the decisions you want to take but without having anyone control it or cause you fear" he said as he stood up in front of me, he reached out his hand as he looked at me. I looked at the floor and then back at him, I slightly smiled and grabbed his hand as he smiled. He grabbed my clothes and passed it to me, he gave me a hug and placed the photograph in his folder. He put it back on his suitcase.

"See you in my office on Tuesday?"

"Yes" I replied as he walked out of my room, I got dressed and headed out of my room for the first time in eight months. Rita gasped as she saw me come down the stairs, I smiled and went to her to hug her.

"Thank you, for everything and for having so much patience with me"

"I am glad your out of that room" she sobbed as I hugged her tightly. I was happy too, to be out of the room that now had so much bad memories. I needed to start from zero, and I needed to move far from Neymar. Not because he was a threat to me but because after seeing Mark at his party and considering Mark knew where I lived, he would come any day looking for me anyways. I told Rita my plans and she agreed, we didn't need a mansion of a house so I decided a decent not to fancy condo would do it for us, in less than a week we were moved out and living a new fresh start. I had gone to my appointment with Liam and told him what had happened that day in the house with Mark, he never judged me or made no remarks about it. He heard me, every aspect of my story and wrote down things on his notebook. I sobbed and let it all out of my head in words that I expressed to him, it's strange how I didn't feel accused or felt someone judging me or signaling me. He was calm and just being a good listener without interrupting me at all, he did keep me on the pills I had been taking to help me with my nightmares and he did say that moving was a big and wonderful step I had taken into my life. Now my only problem was to return to work and continue my life but with Neymar on one hand being my patient and other soccer players, not to say my office being a target where I could possibly see him again, now that he knew where I worked. Well that fear was still there but I had to be the one to over come it sooner or later, after settling in the condo and finally being able to breathe a fresh new smell of air. I felt some relieve and I felt it was time for me to go back to work, I called my boss and let him know that I was back from my vacation and was ready to take my patients back. To my surprise my first patient was Mr. Silva, I had to face the fact of seeing Neymar after so long. After what had happened between us in the office, that kiss had more meaning to me than anything in my life but I couldn't let it become more. For his sake and mine, it was best to keep a distance but I don't know how he would react when he saw me tomorrow. I couldn't sleep the whole night, thinking of Neymar and Kevin. I had sympathy for Kevin but Neymar was like fire to me and though I was like ice, sigh I knew ice and fire couldn't be mixed together but it was so hard. His eyes, his smile, his scent, and the way he looked at me made me lose control. But I wondered if I was the same for him? Or was I one more to add to his list of woman, sigh I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair as I pictured his lips on mine. His kisses on my neck and the way he would be grabbing me, I snapped out of my dirty thoughts and tried to manage myself to get some rest.