PETER MAXIMOFF IMAGINES

2: trust in me

warnings: mentions of depression

No matter how many times you felt apathy, you could never get used to it. The suffocating blanket of nothingness always being that of unbearable. Sometimes you wake up and you feel it, not for any particular reason. On other days it's triggered by something. It switches on and off as quietly and quickly as a light switch. 

This time, your depression was in response to the events of a couple weeks ago. To put it simply: your dad kicked you out. He found out you were a mutant and sent you off. 

But that wasn't the part that hurt so much

The part that hurt was the way your little sister looked at you. Fear and disgust recognizable on her face. It wasn't the same face she made when something tasted like lemons or when the elevator was going a little too high for her liking. It was hateful. 

She was your best friend, you had been through everything together and it was all gone in a matter of seconds. 

You were lucky that you knew Ororo and the others. She brought you to the mansion where you were welcomed in by Charles. You had been withdrawn ever since It happened. Peter, your boyfriend, had been on a mission that was supposed to end today. You hadn't told him about what happened yet. You felt like a burden on the others already and couldn't stand your love feeling the same way about you. He would probably be upset that you had kept it from him, but that didn't matter to you right now. The two of you started dating a few months back after Jean introduced you. But you still felt that it would be too much for him, that something like this would scare him off. You felt so hopeless.

Tears slid down your cheeks and softly landed on the bed you were curled up on. The energy to crawl get in your pajamas and crawl under the covers hadn't found you quite yet, so you just laid atop them, tense with a racing mind. 

A knock on the door disrupted your thoughts.

"Dove? Are you in there?" Peter called out from behind the door.

You wanted to sink into the bed at this point - to become one with the blankets. The thought of him holding you made your heart skip a beat but you couldn't get yourself to move. You counted to twelve and took a deep breath - four seconds to inhale, four seconds hold, four seconds exhale - steeling yourself as you headed towards the door. 

The light from the hallway spilled into your room as you opened the door - you hadn't realized how dark it was in there. 

Peter stood silent for a moment, observing you. You watched as he scanned your face looking for the answers to questions he hadn't yet asked. 

When he spoke his voice was gentle, "You didn't tell me because you thought it'd scare me off?" 

Now it was your turn to be shocked - a feeling you welcomed, you were just happy to feel something other than numbness. 

You found yourself fumbling for words, "I, you..." This was not how you expected him to react. He watched you open and close your mouth like a fish out of water for a moment (he found it to be very adorable). Then he took a step forward and reached out to touch you. His arms wrapped around your waist and his chest was pressed flushed to yours. A hand came up to tilt your chin towards him. 

"Dove, I'll always be here for you. There is nothing in this world that would make me not want to be with you, let alone scare me away. I have to see Logan's face every day and that doesn't scare me away from my missions." His attempt at making you feel less heavy worked as he earned a breathy laugh from you. 

He paused for a moment, staring into your eyes, "Angel, I love you." 

Tears welled up in your eyes. You loved Peter so much and hearing him say that made you feel like you could breathe again. Maybe it was the huge sense of relief you felt at his words or the overwhelming amount of love you felt towards him right now, it was probably both of those things. No one had ever made you feel like you were enough for them, until Peter.

The feeling of his thumbs softly swiping away your tears only made you want to cry more. Was it normal to love someone this much? 

He suddenly bent down and literally swept you off your feet, causing you to let out a yelp that he merely chuckled at, and carried you over to the bed. He set you down and crawled into bed beside you, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You could feel your entire face heat up. His arms snaked themselves around your waist, holding you impossibly close to him. You couldn't help the smile that made its way to your face as you wrapped your arms around him. 

Letting out a shaky breath, you realized that you had finally begun to feel something again.

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Gah! How cute are they?? 

Also, if any of you are feeling this way I want you to know that I care about you - even though I don't know you - and that you should just take it one day at a time. I know people usually say, "it's all gonna be okay", but when I hear that it makes me want to punch someone in the mouth, so I'm not going to say that. Just take it one day at a time. Journal, drink water, walk your dog or cat or whatever animal you have, get some sunshine, listen to music, do a jig - whatever the fuck makes you feel better - do it !! Make sure to take care of yourselves loves. 

And fuck anyone who says "we're gonna be okay" - like, last I remember this is in no way a WE situation my dude. 

Anyways...... 

Thanks for reading! And thanks for bearing with me through my rant! Please vote, comment, request!! <3