writing snippets

one for sorrow (sylvain)

You don't remember your visions. In fact you hardly know you have them until someone tells you and you don't really believe them when they do. How would you not know you have something like that? Seeing the future feels like something you'd remember experiencing but you don't. Except when you think back to the night before you met a girl who's words make you see red. Not in the symbolic way that people say when something makes you angry but in the literal sense. Red floods your vision when she talks and you've yet to figure out why that is. Red is rare to see.

    You remember the night before you met Red you were left by a girl who filled your vision blue. You remember that when you got home, broken and despondent over the loss of a color you relied on too much, you collapsed in bed. You don't remember falling asleep but you remember a dream, a vision.

    The world was stark white and cold and you remember feeling alone, desperate. The quiet was deafening and you stood there unable to move despite the nagging feeling that you have to find someone. Why?

A single crow flies across the sky.

    When you blink the scene has changed. You're standing at the base of a hill that leads to a cliff and at the top you remember being able to see a coat that's blood red against the paleness of your surroundings. You are unsure of what is happening. You watch from the bottom as this red coat blows in the wind and suddenly it and it's wearer fall. You jolt to run and try to save them but you find yourself unable to move at all and as the horror washes over you seven crows fly away.

    You blink again and you're somewhere else. The middle of a field you know too well but it's also not the field you know. It's void of ruins and no moon hangs in the sky and it's painfully white that you have to shut your eyes. You feel a breeze and you open them. Ahead of you again is a red coat but this time close enough to see it is a girl you've never seen before. You open your mouth to speak but nothing comes out and you feel like you're going to start choking. You claw at your throat in any attempt to free the words that are stuck but to no avail do you succeed and your vision clouds around the edges but it stops. You're being spoken to.

    "How many did you see?" The voice startles you. It's loud and rings throughout the empty land and it sounds like multiple people are speaking at once. You do not answer. You do not understand what it is asking you. The girl in red cocks her head and asks again. "How many did you see?"

    You swallow. You spit out a number. "Seven."

    It hums and starts to walk in circles around you, slowly. It sets you on edge, you feel like you've been separated from something and now that you're alone, broken off from the main part of whatever you belong to, you're easy prey. "You have a secret." It states it as if it is a simple fact. "Everyone has secrets. But you...Yours cannot be shared as easily." You don't know what that means. What secrets do you have that you would share easily? The point of secrets is to keep them safe, unknown, protected.

    It stops it's movements right in front of you, leaning in and peering at you through faded pink eyes. Something tells you that this body does not belong to it. "She has secrets too." It leans back to stand up straight and you watch it cautiously. Who is it talking about? "Different but the same as yours. Silver and red." It turns its back to you though you have a feeling it can still see you.

    "Are you white or black, dear Sylvain?" It's a simple question that confuses you. What does it mean white or black? "Good or bad? Yin or yang?" It continues.

You think for a moment. "I do not know."

"Of course you don't. It is not so easy a thing to answer. No one is one or the other."

"So why ask?" It turns back to face you when you say that. The smile it wears is knowing and you feel like you've asked the right question, though you aren't sure why it's correct.

"Because you struggle with it. And so does she."

"Who?" It smiles knowingly again and you feel like it's playing with you. Being purposefully cryptic and causing you anxiety but when you stop to feel what you're feeling no anxiety has gotten its hold on you. You feel...not much of anything. Apathetic, almost.

"Red is a rare color." It tells you. You don't know what that means either. You see red all the time, you see it in flowers and in clothes and food. It's abundant. It is not a rare color. "You see what others cannot. Red is a rare color." It repeats. You still don't understand. What is it you see that others don't? What does color have to do with anything at all?

"It's time you go." It approaches you in a few steps and smiles warmly. "This is for you, do not forget it." It says and taps your forehead with it's index finger. A breeze flows over you and next you see is black.

This dream comes back to you a few weeks after you've met Nelle and you remember you were told not to forget it. You look over at her as she flips through a book and you feel like you should have remembered it sooner. It looked just like her, or she looks just like it, either way she is what you saw and you wonder what it means now. The memory of secrets and colors come back to you and you sit up from the place you lay. She doesn't notice your movement until you stand and when she does she looks up at you.

"What color am I?" You ask and she raises an eyebrow at you, both amused and curious.

"That's a strange question to ask," She shuts her book and sets her chin in the palm of her hand, looking you over slowly with a lazy grin. "Silver." You frown.

"Do you really see that from me?"

"What color am I?" She answers. You frown deeper and she laughs but still doesn't answer your question. That is the thing. You do not see a color when she talks. No color dances at the edges of your vision like it typically does when you meet someone and you weren't aware of it until right now and it sets you on edge. You're quiet for too long though, she goes back to her book and you stand there awkwardly.

"Red." You answer anyway, even if the moment has passed, you don't care. Red is the right answer, even if you can't see it. She looks up at you, genuine surprise on her face but it's quickly masked over with amusement.

"I see." She speaks and you can hear her voice sound strained but that is not what you focus on. You focus on the crimson red that utterly floods your vision and you have to sit down as you reel from it. She shuts her book again and looks at you directly. Her gaze feels cold and dangerous but you know you're going to be fine. "I thought you looked familiar." The red recedes to the edges of your sight and you realize you have a lot to talk about.