Betrothed

Chapter 30

Hi! I hate myself. It's official.

This time Sean didn't even flinch when he felt Kaycee's hand slip into his and her head droop down to his shoulder.

His eyes glanced to his mother sitting still beside him. Her body was unnaturally still but her shaking hands and eyes gave her away. Serris and Sarah were crying, Sean noticed. And so was Kylee.

Sean was crying too, only he didn't realize it. The only way he knew was because of the tears falling into his lap. He was pretty sure Kaycee was too. But he didn't have the courage to look at her again.

The speech was unnaturally long. Or maybe it was just Sean that felt that way. The priest was saying something about him being looked after by the gods now and that he was at peace.

Bullshit.

Was he at peace? Yes, he was. He was free from all the pain he suffered for the last five years.

But, Sean refused to believe God loved him. Why would he inflict such pain on whom He loves? Don't we all want to see our loved ones happy? What kind of strange love was this then, that He had to make him suffer for so long and in the end, take him away completely.

Away from them.

Sean only realized he was glaring at the priest when Kaycee pulled his sleeve to break his gaze. Averting his eyes quickly, he tried to wipe them discreetly with his sleeves when Kaycee tugged on his arm.

When Sean met her gaze, her bloodshot eyes were kind as she held out her box of tissues.

Sean took one quietly. They barely spoke these past few days and Sean was for be blamed. He knew it. But he felt like talking was such a waste of energy.

Something Cheuk would hit him on his head for thinking.

But he was grateful. Very grateful.

Only he didn't know how to say or show it.

He only shook out of his thoughts when commotion began in the funeral house after the speech and people started to go forward to pay their last respect to him. Sean looked away just like his sisters.

They didn't invite many people. Only close friends and family.

Sensing the downfall in Sean's mood, Kaycee softly distangled herself from Sean. She was getting too comfortable in his arms. She blamed it on the lack of physical contact she had the past few days.

"I'll go check on..... M-Mom?" She softly announced, her eyes searching for permission.

Sean was surprised but he offered her a small nod before his lips turned upwards slightly.

Not a smile, but good enough for now, Kaycee thought.

She gave one last glance at Sean before going towards Miya, to check on her.

Sean had barely gotten the chance to stand up when another figure appeared in front of him.

Audrey.

Sean stood up, acknowledging her with a slight nod. Audrey shook her head in disapproval before pulling him in for a hug.

"We don't do nods here."

"Okay." Sean smiled lightly.

She gave his arm one last squeeze before pulling away. She had known him for way too long to not notice his eyes, bags under his eyes,
his lack of energy, tiredness and everything. She loved every piece of him and knew him as if she had studied him for a degree.