Chapter 5: The Dinner

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"Mew... " Gulf placed his palms on top of his, "of course, you can. I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable. "

"No, you're not. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you. "

"Mew.. "

Before Gulf could complete his words, the waiter appeared with their orders and a bottle of wine. The table was soon filled with chicken in coconut soup and fried catfish with mango salad along with fried rice.

"How did you know I enjoy catfish and mango? " Mew asked, quite impressed as Gulf slided the plates that had catfish towards him.

"You told me before. Also, I wanted to enjoy chicken on my own. " Gulf said cleaning their chop sticks and passed a pair to Mew.

It took them about fifteen minutes to finish the meal and once they were done, they pushed the plates towards the centre of the table.The waiter then used the moment to approach the table.

"Wasn't that an amazing meal? " Mew asked fully satisfied. It was not just his stomach but it was his heart that was contented.

"It was really great. I didn't expect the food to be this nice. " Gulf replied.

"How did you manage to find this place?"

"I searched for it. There's review on reddit where people talk about the best place to have your first date in Bangkok. This one was neither near your place or mine. I thought it'd be fair to both of us" Gulf said opening the wine and poured it on their glasses.

"You're being too calculative." Mew sniggered.

"Actually, no. I just think a little too much." Gulf replied giving him the glass of wine. He then, looked towards the door that led to the balcony of the restaurant, "So, do you want us to get some fresh air outside? "

"Let's do that. " Mew agreed. They sipped down the wine and made way to the balcony.

Once they reached the outside, a warm yet a gentle breeze of July, heavily loaded with the hot greasy scents of frying noodles, pork and powdery-sweet waffles came from the restaurant kitchen.

Mew reached for the fences on the balcony as Gulf stood next to him with his arms touching Mew's.

"Now that we don't have regular workshop for this week, I'll be visiting university for a while. " Mew said, suddenly remembering that they might not see each other everyday.

"I see. Is your uni far away from here?"

"Takes about half an hour from my place. "

"Hmm... Will you be too busy? I'll miss you" Gulf said shyly.

It made Mew's heart flutter. Gulf being sweet and caring was something he haven't gotten used with. "Are you going to be away for the whole week? " Gulf continued.

"No, not at all. Since our shooting starts Monday, I'll  not be away the whole week. Maybe, tomorrow or the day after. How about you? Didn't you have an internship? " Mew asked, concernfully.

"I'll visit my uni too. Perhaps, my professors will be able to fix me up with something. Mark's been taking in information for me" Gulf replied and Mew nodded with gaieties. He was glad to have some quality time with his man after what felt like a long time ago since they last were intimate with each other.

"So, there's something I wanted to tell you. It's about us." Gulf said and instantly, it triggered Mew's fear. He would absolutely get crashed if Gulf decided to part ways with him and his inner fear surmounted upon him.

"I think you should know that since this is my first relationship with a man, I am very nervous." Gulf said taking a deep sigh and looked over the distance. It was when Mew felt relief but Gulf still seemed unfinished and bothered.

"As a man, I've always leaded in my previous relationships and right now, I am confuse about what kind of a role I should take." Gulf continued and fidgeted his hands uncomfortably against the bar as if he was trying to hide his nervousness. The attempt made by Gulf to appear himself brave made Mew's heart pound heavily and reassured him how precious the man standing beside him was.

"I'm glad you told me that. " He said, placing his palms on his shoulder. Gulf then turned his head at him and gazed into his eyes. "You know, Gulf... There's no specific role for you to play. You just have to be yourself....you know, you and I, we are a team. Sometimes I lead but when you lead, I'll follow too. " Mew asserted sincerely and honestly.

"So you're saying it's normal? " Gulf hesitated.

"Yes. It is normal. You know, I was afraid that I was putting on a lot of pressure on you and that I was pushing you away." Mew added timidly.

Gulf sniffled. "From what I've realized, it must be me who is at fault for not giving 'enough' to us. Firstly, i can't even be open about myself. And to be honest, I do feel very insecure about myself, Mew. Because, I have to make a place on my own in this industry otherwise, I feel like I'm not worth enough for you. " Gulf said rubbing his shoes on the cemented floor.

Mew take hold of his hand and pulled him closer, “I'm not going to say your worries are nothing" He said and firmly continued, "But Gulf...you have no idea how precious you are to me. It's me who's scared of losing you every single day because I'm not sure how troubled you'd be with every new thing that's happening to you. Gulf, I -- ”

“Shhhh.” this time Gulf smiled slowly and easily revealed the dimple in his cheek. “If it's someone who's worried it's me. And I am sorry for being still a coward.”

“But, you're not”

Gulf's finger rose and pressed gently against his lips. “Don’t argue this time. I know I'm not responsible enough but I will. Just give me some time. ”

Unquestioning obedience wasn’t usually Mew's modus operandi, but to his surprise, he complied. Perhaps, it was the sheer innocence and honesty, the man he was in love with was blurting out.

He closed his eyes, letting the darkness take him and then he shifted, so that he was facing him more closer. If he had opened his eyes, he would have seen only Gulf, but he wanted to feel every thing about the man that was slowly sealing his lips with a kiss.

And he thought, Gulf wanted their relationship to still be a secret.

*****

Note:

The updates have been slow. I'm Sorry. But there's just so many things going on with my life. My hands are tied.

But still, if you are reading this, Thank you very much. ❤

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