Twelve Days

Day eight

The sun was tickling my nose as it shone through the glass roof of our van. As we have stayed up late and waken up early the past few days all of us agreed on sleeping in today. Traffic was a mess yesterday so we arrived a lot later than expected- still it was an awesome ride. When I crawled out of bed carefully in order not to wake Alec I could already feel how much of a good idea it has been to sleep in. As I stepped outside, blinded by the sun shining directly into my eyes I could feel a fresh breeze against my hot skin. For some moments I just stood there, barefoot on the ground and took it all in- this was it. We arrived at our final destination, Maroon bells, Colorado. 1740 miles from home, and the air has never smelled as fresh before.

"Enjoying the peace?", Clary asked as stepping out from behind me. I have not realized her van was right next to ours. Immediately I asked myself for how long she must have watched me. "Kind of.", I chuckled and ran my hand through my hair. When I turned around I saw her wild curls framing her pale face- to my surprise she wore nothing more than a dark green bralette and beige shorts. "How long have you been up for?", she asked, leaning against the door of my van. "Not long, not even half an hour.", II chuckled. "Same.", she replied, "So that's your morning voice?" Out of reflex I cleared my throat:" I guess so." Something about that girl made me really nervous. "It's cute.", she laughed and started putting her hair into a bun. What do you reply to something like that, I asked myself, panicking on the inside. "Thanks I guess.", I answered. Thankfully in this moment Alec stepped out of the van, interrupting our awkward talk. Unlike me who was wearing a Tanktop and some shorts Alec wore nothing more than boxer-shorts. "Here you are.", He sighed in relief, only now noticing Clary at the scene. Blushing, he tried to hide himself behind the door a bit which looked incredibly funny due to Alec's height. "Don't stress, it doesn't bother me.", Clary laughed out and I could see Alec relax. "Breakfast, anyone?", he asked to break the awkwardness and thankfully Clary agreed.

"Thank you, it was getting awkward.", I laughed and Alec looked at me completely startled:" You're not mad?" "Why should I?", I laughed. "Well I thought I interrupted a moment.", Alec admitted and I laughed even more:" No it's fine, your timing was on point." "Eggs?", Alec asked to change the topic and I nodded. Like always I made my way towards the back of the van where we stored all of our stuff to find my pills before I would forget them like the last time we had proper breakfast with Clary. When looking into the bag I stored my toothbrush I noticed the box wasn't there. A shiver ran through over my spine- if it wasn't where it usually was, where was it? I took a deep breath to calm myself down- It was going to be fine, I told myself and calmly searched through the bag again. After ensuring they weren't there I started looking between the pillows, in the boxes we stored out food in, the back pocket of my pants- but the box was nowhere to be found. Suddenly fear took over my body- I have never been that scared in my life. It was only for now that I realized how my life quite literally depended on those pills. "Alec?", I asked, my vice shaking. "What's wrong?", he yelled, sounding worried. "Have you by any chance seen my pills somewhere?", I asked, terrified of the answer. Alec's "no" came crushing down on me, burying my last hope under a rock. It was our first day in a new location- what if I lost them somewhere in the black Canyon? "Hey, we'll find them.", Alec approached and laid his arm around my shaking shoulders. "Deep breaths Jace, deep breaths.", he said, trying to calm the panic rising in me. "I'm trying."; I gasped, short on breath. All worst case scenarios rushed my mind- what if No. I tried to push all these thoughts away but they just came back to me like boomerangs. I wasn't independent after all. In fact, I was tied to those pills for the sake of my life. "When was the last time you saw them?", Alec asked, obviously also worried. "The last time I took them, yesterday at the sunrise.", I exhaled- this was my worst nightmare. In fact, the only nightmare I had. I noticed my hands shaking, not knowing if from fear or sickness. "Hey, calm down! Panicking won't help!", Alec tried. I could see how scared he was in that very moment, "Let's search the backpack and the clothes you wore yesterday." Trying to keep me busy, he gave me my hoodie to search. Like I expected, I found nothing. "Tha backpack is empty.", Alec whispered in shock. Gathering all of my strength I tried to remember exactly what happened after I took my pills- but my mind was simply blank. I had no idea. "Let me search the cooking section.", Alec said and gave me the backpack to look through it again. "What if I forgot them at the black Canyon?", I stuttered. "You didn't. And even if you did, we will ride back there and I swear I will search the entire state of Colorado if that's what it takes.", Alec replied with a shaking voice. Desperate tears rushed to my eyes. In that very moment someone knocked at our door- Clary. "Not now."; I whispered- I was a shaking mess, driven by fear. "I'll get it, you try to stay calm.", Alec said and approached the door. Like expected, it was Clary. A million thoughts rushed through my head- my life depended on those pills. "I was just cleaning my van and I found this in my backpack.", I heard Clarys voice. "I thought it might be Jace'- our backpacks are quite similar after all." "Oh my god Clary- thank you. We have been searching for it."; I heard Alec reply and watched him approach me with my pill box. "Thank god."; I exhaled and dropped myself onto our bed. "Pretty much.", Alec sighed and gave todays pill to me, along with some water. "You're okay.", he said after I swallowed my pill- I was. As if we reset my time bomb just in time.