The Seed Of Azrael

Love, Dark

I sighed. Tao lang rin naman ako. Tao lang rin naman si Dark. Tanga ba akong matatawag kung patatawarin ko siya dahil natakot lang siya sa sarili niyang nararamdaman? Ako rin naman ah. Minsan natatakot rin ako. Pero iba kay Dark.

He gave everything to me without me asking for it. Kung tutuusin, I had him wrapped up in the palm of my hand before. Kayang-kaya ko siyang paikutin. But I never did that. I love him too much to do that. But he still gave the world to me. He did it when I didn’t want him to. He always wanted what’s best for me. He always wanted things that makes me so happy.

Though I never cared about things that he gives me. Siya lang kuntento na ako. Siya lang okay na lahat. Siya lang ang kailangan ko. Hiniling kong bumalik siya no’n pero hindi siya nakabalik dahil sa kanila. Dahil inilayo nila si Dark sa akin. Dahil ayaw nila kaming magkita.

They did it, not him. They were the reason that we both suffered for years. It’s not Dark.

“Are you still scared?”

He nodded. “Very. You know…” nag-angat siya ng mukha and automatically, I noticed the tears. But he is smiling, though sadly, he still smiled. “You know, baby D… I love seeing you. When everything around me stumbled upside down, when they all turn their backs at me because they thought I was the one who hurt Katherine… everytime I come home from where Katherine was and I see you, everything just… they just vanish. All I wanted that moment was to hug you and kiss you and… and tell you how much I love you. But you’re asking for release. You’re asking for me to let you go and I couldn’t… I couldn’t do that. I’m so sorry that I can’t. I’m so sorry that I was so selfish and it hurts that I just…”

He gave up fighting the urge of sobbing and he hugged me again. Para akong sinaksak sa puso. It was no one’s fault Katherine was hospitalized but that… that idiot who wanted to kill her. But it was entirely my fault that Dark suffered under these circumstances. Kung sana nanahimik na lang ako at hinayaan siyang gumawa ng paraan.

I didn’t trusted him before. Afterall that he’s done for me, I doubted his love. I crushed him to pieces, I broke his heart a thousand times. I’m still breaking it up to now.

“Why didn’t you tell me, D? You should’ve told me this, I should’ve listened. Why were you such an idiot that all you wanted to do is hide things from me and solve it yourself? I could’ve helped you. I could’ve make things easier for us. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Ramdam ko siyang umiiling then he chuckled lifelessly. “I would’ve took the sin if I can, baby D. But there was the damn CCTV. There were eye witnesses to tell that I’m not in the room when it happened. I would’ve catch every little pieces of blame for you. Ayokong mahirapan ka. Nasasaktan ako kasi mas pinahihirapan kita. Ayoko rin namang mawala ka. Gulong-gulo na’ko, Dream. Hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. While I… I have lots. I’m sorry for hating you. I’m sorry for not trusting you. I’m sorry for not believing in you. I’m sorry for not remembering how you worship me from head to toe. I’m sorry for… for hurting you. I’m sorry for breaking your heart, baby D, I’m sorry for everything. Forgive me?”

Pinahid ko ang mga luhang kumawala mula sa mga mata ko. He pulled away an inch and I saw him smile between tears. I miss him. Oh God, how I miss him. “I’m still hurting, baby D. Make it better?”

I smiled as I nod my head. “Always, for you, Dark. Always.”

His melodic chuckles were the last thing I heard before his soft lips collided against mine. Napangiti ako sa kabila ng sabik ko sa halik niya. Thank God I wasn’t as wild as him. Baka iba na ang pinuntahan nito if we had the equal urge.