dear me,
such a stupid girl.
you keep trying to make yourself stop loving him. i can see it in the way you get lost in another boy so quickly, then seem somewhat relieved when it doesn't work out. i see it in the way your hands begin to shake and you words come out slower and stop making any sense when he walks by. i see it in your eyes when you asking me if i think he'll noticed you stopped texting him. it's not healthy, and it's not making you love him any less. all you're doing is shooting arrows into your heart while dreaming that they will land in his. they don't. stop telling yourself that you're okay with the fact that he's ignoring your existence. stop punishing yourself. stop feeling like you can't love yourself simply because he wouldn't stay long enough to love you. get your butt out of bed, watch a movie with your friends without stopping to look for him in the crowd. you are not the feelings he's left you with. you are as beautiful and rock solid as you were the tuesday before he waltzed into your life before he made you feel like he was the universe spinning in circles around you. you have spent too long running through your maze of a mind in which you've placed the image of his laugh on every corner. you can easily escape and get out of there. set yourself free. you do not need his affection in order to let yourself breathe steadily. you are the earth and the moon and the sky, and he is nothing but an apple tree. and just remember not to plant another spoiled apple seed.
--he's just another petty, little crush that will most likely go away--
love(,) yourself
YOU ARE READING
letters to you
Random"please read my diary, look through my things and figure me out." -kurt cobain
