Lady Locksley

Chapter 17

Djaq

The camp was quiet without the lads. Surrounded on all sides by dense greenwood, the only sounds were birdsong and the breeze rustling through the trees. Roana was intensely aware of how alone they were, and how unprotected they would be if somebody happened upon them. She would have found it more than a little unnerving if it wasn't for Djaq's mellowing presence.
The Saracen did not seem rattled by anything. She had a steady and patient nature imbued with fierce determination and integrity that made her a formidable ally, and an amazing friend. The other members of the gang clearly adored her, and she, in turn, was ferociously protective of them, so much so that she would rush into battle with enemy a lot bigger than herself to protect her friends without a second thought. That she had taken Roana under her wing so willingly was something Roana would forever be grateful for. Djaq was definitely someone she wanted in her corner.
Their morning was spent constructively, with Djaq giving Roana a guided tour of the camp and the surrounding area, including the hidden, spring-fed pool where the outlaws bathed and washed their clothes. On the way back, she showed Roana the best places to harvest yarrow, a plant with medicinal properties to help stop bleeding, and how meadowsweet grew in the damp trenches beside the pool, an ideal remedy for stomach issues.
"How do you know all of this?" Roana asked as they made their way back to camp armed with wild garlic to add flavour to Much's food, and herb Robert, a pretty, pink-flowered plant with a pungent smell that Djaq explained was excellent for repelling insects. "You are like a walking apothecary."
Djaq laughed. "I take that as a compliment," she said. "My father was a physician. He taught me a lot of things about medical procedures and medicines." She smiled, fondly. "I owe him a lot."
Roana glanced over at her, inquiringly, and Djaq explained, matter-of-factly, "He is dead. For many years now."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Djaq," Roana said with feeling. "It sounds like he was an amazing man."
Djaq nodded. "He was."
They walked in companionable silence for a while until the camp came into sight. Once there, Djaq stored the plants carefully in a wooden crate and dug out an old, tattered cloak, announcing that she would make them into trousers for Roana to wear.
"You cannot exist in the forest in a dress," she stated. "No matter how pretty it is, it is not appropriate." She eyed Roana, slyly. "And I don't think Allan will mind what you are wearing."
Roana stared at her, shocked. "What do you mean?"
Djaq laughed. "Oh, Roana. Have you not seen the way he looks at you? He is like a starving man seeing water for the first time in an age."
Roana blushed. "I— I hadn't noticed. I mean, I barely know him, and he barely knows me. Surely it isn't true."
Djaq gave her a chiding look. "You do not have to hide anything from me. You like him too."
Roana was gobsmacked. She had assumed that her burgeoning feelings for Allan were secret, but Djaq had seen right through her pretence.
She cleared her throat, nervously. "Well, yes. I do like him. He's very nice."
Djaq raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes. "You English and your secrets." She shrugged. "You like Allan. Allan likes you. It is really very simple."
Roana laughed, self-consciously. Djaq made it sound so simple. And maybe it was, but Roana was uncertain. She had little experience in these matters, and was unsure of how to proceed. She wished she had just half of Djaq's confidence.
"Is it simple between you and Will, then?" She asked, archly, and watched Djaq's skin darken into a blush at the mention of the carpenter.
"It is that obvious?" She asked, mildly.
Roana nodded with a smile, and Djaq sighed. She settled down on the edge of her bed and indicated for Roana to do the same, before beginning to thread a needle.
"I do not like to rush into things before I am completely certain that they are right for me," she explained. "I have learnt this the hard way. My friendship with Will means too much to me to ruin it."
Roana sat down beside her and pulled her legs up, wrapping her arms around her knees and resting her chin on them.
"Tell me," she said, simply.
"Before coming to England, my home had always been in Acre, in the Holy Land. My father, as I have mentioned before, was a physician. He was very well respected in our community. My mother died when I was young and I grew up with my father and my brother, Djaq." She looked at Roana, shyly. "I took his name and his identity upon his death, but I am getting ahead of myself.
"I was born Saffiya Farraj in Acre in 1166. My mother was ill for a long time after the pregnancy, and she eventually passed when I was ten. My father was distraught. He had tried all he could to save her, but to no avail.
"After that, I took on much of my mother's duties. My father was a hard-working man, and he would spend long hours working to save the lives of his patients. As the only daughter, it fell to me to take over the running of the house, but my father and my brother made sure to assist me in my studies. My father wanted me to have options, maybe to follow in his footsteps. My brother was already showing an affinity for war. When I was eleven, he joined the Ayyubid army to fight for our Sultan, Salah ad-Din Yusuf. Times were relatively peaceful, yet the threat of the Christians was ever-present, and, when Salah ad-Din took control of Jerusalem, war broke out.
"My father could not cope with the stress of Djaq being away. When he caught influenza, he never recovered, and passed away a month later. This was in 1187. I received word two months later that Djaq had been killed in action, stabbed by a Christian soldier. He was only 17.
"I was devastated. I had no one left. I was completely alone. I remember sitting on my brother's bed, crying, wracked with grief. I had no idea what to do, or where to go. The only life I had known was gone, snatched away from me.
"In the days that followed, I would not leave my home, and, eventually, my uncle, Sharif, came for me and took me to live with him and his wife, Yasmeena. I was deeply depressed and bewildered, and felt that my world had ended with the destruction of my family. Sharif and Yasmeena helped me to grieve properly, and to honour my fathers memory by living my life again.
"It was through my uncle that I met Bassam, the Sultan's official pigeon handler. This is a very important job in my country for the Sultan's pigeons are well-trained zejil, trained to fly to a destination and return, and they are exalted as important messengers. Bassam took me on as his assistant, and I fell in love for the first time; with those beautiful birds and their soft cooing and extreme determination, and also with Bassam's son, Kafil.
"He was older than me by two years; lean and soft-spoken with eyes of the deepest, darkest brown. He had the most beautiful smile." Djaq smiled, wistfully. "He made me believe in living again, and it was agreed that we would marry. I was the happiest I had been in a long time, but, alas, it was not to be. During a siege by the Christians on Acre, Kafil was killed as he left a corn merchant's store. It was not the Christians who killed him, but a fellow Muslim; a mistake, it would seem. And that mistake cost me the light at the end of the tunnel I was in.
"After that, I was filled with rage at the injustice that continually dogged my life. I cast off Saffia, who brought me nothing but bad luck, and I became Djaq. I left behind my uncle and aunt, and Bassam and the pigeons, and I began work as a ship's mate for a material tradesman. Nobody knew I was a woman, for I dressed in my brother's old clothes, and I took on his mannerisms. I did not allow myself to grow close to anyone for fear of them dying.
"In 1191, myself and other men that I worked with were caught by the Christians while we were transporting goods from the store to our ship. We were taken prisoner and set sail for England as slaves. This is how I eventually came to meet Robin; he rescued us from the Sheriff, who wanted us to work his iron mines."
She smiled at Roana. "I have so much to thank Robin for, and the rest of the gang, who have made me feel so welcome. This is why I stay; to fight with my friends against our common enemy. But," she lowered her eyes as melancholy took over her. "I fear for their lives. I cannot lose anyone else that I love. And yes, I love Will. But to admit it may mean losing him. And I can't let that happen again."
Overcome by emotion at the candour of Djaq's confession, Roana touched a hand to the Saracen woman's arm in solidarity. The very fact that Djaq had opened up to her was heartwarming, yet her obvious fear as she grew closer to Will was saddening. But for how much longer could she deny her feelings and prevent herself from experiencing the love that she so deserved, out of fear of something that may never happen?
Roana could not live like that. She wanted to experience life vividly, and not let anything hold her back. Yet there was one thing that stood in her way, and that was William. Even though she had left the castle, the thought of her betrothal still loomed large in her mind. It was something that she couldn't run away from, no matter how hard she tried. And, eventually, it would need to be dealt with.