The Vampire Assistant

Chapter Sixteen

I fell hard on the ground and sprained my arm. I screamed with pain, then tried twisting away from the hairy figure above me. Before I could do anything, he was crouching by my side with a fierce look on his face.

"Oh, hey, man, I didn't hurt you, did I?"He had a friendly voice, and I realized my life wasn't in danger; the look on his face was one of concern, not anger.

"I didn't mean to freak you out,"the man said. "I was just trying to scare you a little, man, for fun."

I sat up and rubbed my elbow. "I'm okay,"I said.

"You're sure? It ain't broken, is it? I've got herbs that can help, if it is."

"Herbs can't fix broken bones,"Sam said. He was now standing beside Evra.

"They sure can't,"the stranger agreed, "but they can elevate you to planes of consciousness where worldly concerns like broken bones are nothing but minor blips on the cosmic map."He paused and stroked his beard. "Of course, they burn out your brain cells, too..."

Sam's blank face showed that even he didn't understand that long sentence.

"I'm okay,"I said again. I stood up and rotated my arm. "I just twisted it. It'll be fine in a couple of minutes."

"Man, that's good to hear,"the stranger said. "I'd hate to be the cause of bodily harm. Hurt's a bad trip, man."

I studied him in more detail. He was big and chubby, with a bushy black beard and long, scraggly hair. His clothes were dirty and there was no way he'd had a bath recently, because he stank to high heaven. That's what the strange smell had been. He was really friendly looking; it made me feel stupid thinking about how afraid of him I'd been.

"Are you guys locals?"the man asked.

"I am,"Sam said. "These guys are with the circus."

"Circus?"The man smiled. "There's a circus around here? Oh, man, how did I miss it? Where is it? I love the circus. I never pass up a chance to see clowns in action."

"It's not that sort of circus,"Sam told him. "It's a freak show."

"A freak show?"The man stared at Sam, then at Evra, whose scales and color pretty much marked him out as one of the performers. "Are you part of a freak show, man?"he asked.

Evra nodded shyly.

"They don't mistreat you, do they?"the man asked. "They don't whip you or under-feed you or make you do things you don't want to?"

"No."Evra shook his head.

"You're there of your own free will?"

"Yes,"Evra said. "All of us are. It's our home."

"Oh. Well, that's okay,"the man said, smiling again. "You hear rumors about those small traveling shows. You..."He slapped his forehead. "Oh man, I haven't introduced myself, have I? I'm so dumb sometimes. R.V.'s the name."

"R.V.? That's a funny name,"I remarked.

He coughed with embarrassment. "Well,"he said, lowering his voice to a whisper, "it's short for Reggie Veggie."

"Reggie Veggie ?"I laughed.

"Yeah,"he said. "Reggie's my real name. Reggie Veggie's what they called me in school, because I'm a vegetarian. Well, I never liked that, so I asked them to call me R.V. instead. Some did, but not many."He looked miserable at the memory. "You can call me Reggie Veggie if you want,"he told us.

"R.V. is fine by me,"I assured him.

"Me, too,"Evra said.

"And me,"Sam added.