Forever and Always (Sequel to It's You and Me)

21

"I just really wanted this baby. I was so excited." I say and he nods and wipes away my tears.

"I wanted this baby also. I also still think that it would have been a girl." He says and I smile.

"I do too." I reply and he smiles and kisses my temple.

"Now, lets change subjects. Do you really want to cancel the wedding?" He asks and I immediately start shaking my head.

"No, I don't want to cancel the wedding. I just said that because, I actually don't know why I said that. But I don't want to. I want to marry you." I say and he nods and smiles.

"Then let's get married baby." He says and I smile and lean over to kiss him.

"I feel like a horrible mother." I say pulling away as I let out a sob.

"Baby, you are not a horrible mother." He says wiping my tears away before bringing me into his arms.

"I feel like it though. I completely abandoned them. I heard them crying downstairs for me yet I refused to leave the bed. What kind of mother does that?" I cry out.

"You were hurting baby. You were sad. It's okay." He says rubbing my back.

"No it's not okay!" I say semi shouting as I pull away from him. "It's not okay, and you know that." I say and he sighs and grabs my hand.

"Baby, please don't be so hard on yourself. The kids had no idea what was going on. I told them you weren't feeling well and sure they cried for you, but it was no different then them crying for you when you go out of town or leave for work or to the studio." He says rubbing the back of my hand as I try to calm down.

"I just feel horrible. I was treating you like shit also. I didn't let you touch me and I didn't let you barely talk to me." I say looking up at him.

"It's okay baby. I promise. I know you were hurting and sad." He says leaning over to kiss my temple and I sigh and look down at our hands.

"I'm just really sorry. I wish I talked to you." I say looking back up at him.

"I wish you talked to me too, but you have nothing to apologize for. Let's just lean on each other, okay?" He says and I nod and move closer to him so I can wrap my arms around him and lay my head on his chest.

"Can we do something?" I ask after a few minutes of him rubbing my back.

"Of course. What is it?" He asks.

"It sounds stupid, but I kind of think it will help us. At least me." I say and he pulls my head off his chest and caresses my cheek.

"Nothing is stupid baby. What do you want to do?" He asks again.

"Can we name the baby? I just feel like it will help us and we were also so sure it was a girl. It helped me last.." I start saying but I cut myself off. "Never mind." I say shaking my head.

"No, what were you going to say?" He asks me and I sigh and look down.

"When I first found out I was pregnant when I was 23, I had a dream that it was a boy and then I had the abortion. It was really hard on me, so my therapist told me that since I was so sure that the baby would be a boy that I should give him a name to help me. I just thought it would also help this time since we were so sure it was a girl." I say shrugging. "It sounds stupid." I say shaking my head.

"It's not stupid at all baby. That's beautiful. Of course we can give this baby girl a name." He says and I smile up at him.

"Really?" I ask and he nods giving me a smile.