Surviving Cancer

Saturday, October 14

I knew why people kept telling me not to think like that but at the same time I just wanted someone to be real with me. Like Jonah and Walter were. They both knew they were going to die. And they both had accepted it. If I had to die I wanted to be like Jonah. He was young and would miss out on so many things but he was still okay with it and happy to be alive. I wondered if he was even scared.

I pushed the thoughts out of my head as we neared Jackie's house. I did however make a mental note to ask Jonah if he was scared or not. I put a smile on my face and turned around in my seat as Jackie came bounding out of her house and into the car.

"Hey girlies!" She hollered as she climbed in. My mom and I both said hi. "I'm so excited! So I'm thinking an up do or maybe a down do. What are you doing?"

"I think I'm going to leave my hair down." I said, tapping the area where my port was.

"Well you've got the hair for it, God knows I wish mine would cooperate half as well as yours. In fact never mind a leaving mind down I need all the hairspray I can get!" She pulled out a magazine, flipping through the pages. "What do you think about this hair style?" She asked showing me pictures of some messy up do. "Eh maybe not."

"No I think that's really cute! It'd go perfect with your dress." I said, grabbing the magazine from her hands.

"I'm so excited I went with Greg the other day and picked out a suit for him. His tie matches my dress perfectly!" She said a smile spread across her face. "We are going to have so much fun!"

I flipped through the magazine, pushing my earlier doubts and fears to the back recesses of my mind.

It took three hours for us to get our hair and nails done. When we finally got back to the house it was almost time to get into our dresses. Jackie and I were in my room listening to music and talking when Levi came in.

"Hey when are you getting dressed?" He asked me before turning his attention to Jackie, like he just realized she was there. "Oh hey Jackie."

She muttered a small hi, while I watched the two of them. A blind person could see the tension in my room it was so intense. I wanted to yell at Levi for acting like he didn't know Jackie was over. I had been talking about her coming over for days now. And I wanted to yell at Jackie for being so cold. She had her lips pressed into a thin line and was practically trying to kill him with her eyes.

"Probably in like twenty, you?" I asked.

"I don't know that's why I was asking. When should I have Emma come?" He asked.

"You invited Emma?" Jackie snapped, her eyes wide.

Levi turned to look at her, "Yeah, she is my girlfriend."

"But you said..." Jackie started before trailing off. I raised my eyebrows at her when she looked at me. She shook her head, dropping her eyes to her lap. "Whatever I don't care."

I rolled my eyes, the two of them were being ridiculous. "Everyone else is showing up in like a half hour-forty five minutes."

"Will you help me with my tie when I get dressed?" Levi asked me, going back to ignoring Jackie.

"Yeah, just come get me." I said.

He left my room and I waited a second before turning to Jackie. "What the hell is wrong with you two?"

"What do you mean?" She asked.

I groaned, "Seriously? You guys like each other, why torture yourselves? Just go out."

"You heard him, he's dating Emma." Jackie muttered. "He doesn't even really like her."

"And you don't really like Greg. Not the way you do Levi." I said. Even though what Levi was doing wasn't necessarily right, neither was what Jackie was doing. They both had settled, rather then taking the chance and going after what they wanted. I wasn't about to let her sit there and blame it all on Levi.