expiration

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"morning sleeping beauty!"

i'm woken up by clay violently nudging me. i groan, putting my hand on my sore neck that's been bent the entire night. nick's wild stubble is itchy against my forehead, so i slowly escape his grip to prevent him from waking up.

a streak of sunlight that's found its way into the depressing alley shines straight into my eye as i stand up to stretch. the air is thick with moisture and feels as greasy as the nearby restaurant.

i look down at the sleeping nick who seems confused at what to hold on to now that i'm gone. even though my teddy bear is quite a few times smaller than me i decide it'll do, and lean down to safely place it in his arms. he grips it tightly and stops his nervous twisting.

"that's cute," clay points out.
"i know right, i mean have you seen anything cuter?"
"i could definitely think of one thing.."

he gives me a smug glance, and a confident smirk, making me lose my breath momentarily. i know he's only joking, just messing with me, yet i can't keep my cool. i despise it. at the same time, i'm wishing he'll keep going. wishing it was real.

clay clears his throat, breaking the awkward silence.

"they gave me some food by the way! pasta i believe."

he shows off a white take-out box with some oil leaking out the side of it.

"maybe not a lot, but i hope it's enough for us. i could just buy more if we're hungry."
"save your money dude," i advise, "we'll need it."
"food?"

nick grumbles something more before stumbling towards us, sleepy and confused, my teddy in a chokehold.

"did i hear food?"
"god you're fat," i complain.
"i'm only hungry."
"whatever. just don't eat it all."

clay opens the box, revealing a nice pile of spaghetti coated in leftover tomato sauce. i think i can spot some meat hidden underneath the mountain too. can't complain about this breakfast. we find a sunny spot where we sit down and start digging in.

"how was your first night on the streets clay?" i chuckle, chewing on the tough spaghetti.
"as good as sleeping rough can be, i guess," he responds, showing me one of those blinding smiles of his.

"well you better get used to it unless we find some soggy shelter," nick chimes in, "and you won't like those either."
"it'll be fine, i'll be paid soon, we can just stay at a motel then."

"how do you know? isn't youtube kind of unpredictable?"
"yes, but i should be getting a sponsorship or something by the end of the month," clay explains, "i think. i hope so at least."
"let's keep that hope up then."

two employees from the restaurant exit through the back door for a smoke break. they lean against the metal railing outside, talking inaudibly. my fingers start to itch for a smoke as i see them light theirs. i take one last bite out of my breakfast before reaching for the pack in my back pocket.

as i pull a cigarette out, clay pokes me on the shoulder, wordlessly asking me to give him one for himself. i obey, flipping the lid off of my lighter. he puts it in between his lips and leans closer to me so i can light both at the same time. his hand brushes against mine for less than a second as we take synchronized drags, and that alone is enough to get me on edge.

"guys," nick announces suddenly, mouth full of pasta sauce, "i know a party tonight if y'all wanna go. a friend of a friend of mine's. nothing special, just some chill music and hot girls."

i swear i see him wink at me while mentioning the 'hot girls'. i subtly roll my eyes before replying.

"we'd never say no to that, right clay?"
"of course not," he grins, exhaling.

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