Dark Side of the Moon {Heze1234}

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My first requested review! Thank you Heze1234! Shout out to you!

Title: Dark Side of the Moon

Author: Heze1234

Summary: Alana Taylor is going to Orswood High School

The only problem is Harry Styles.

The punk bad boy that everyone's afraid of.

When they do a project together, are they going to fall in love or continue to hate each other?

Or will she pick him or the sweet boy named Niall

Status: In progress

Review: Okay so I must say… I read the first two chapters and they were a little on the short side. I mean, obviously there’s no certain length that your chapters should be, but I usually say around 1500 words is a good place to aim. Of course, everyone has their own opinion when it comes to that, so it’s not a huge deal. There were a few minor grammatical errors, but it was nothing a quick edit couldn’t fix. I think your story line is interesting, I would be curious to see what happens throughout the project with Harry and Alana. It does keep me wanting to read more. However, I would suggest you work on adding more description to your story. That would help lengthen your chapters as well. I felt like in the first chapter you moved from Alana being in the office to the classroom really quickly. Before I could fully register what was happening, you were moving on! And… maybe clarify things a bit. Is Alana a new student to the school? Is that why she was going to the office? Who was that lady with the green sweater in the beginning? Not everything has to be focused on Harry, we need some character development with Alana as well. But you did an excellent job with Harry’s character. You left me wanting to learn about why he’s so mysterious and what made him develop such an attitude.

Rating: 7/10

What I would change: Make Alana’s character more clear, some more description, longer chapters

Best thing about your story: The way you described Harry’s character, the school project plot

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