What's a soulmate? ~ MaNan

Chapter 8

I try to not let my eyes flicker back to the setting sun. "You should have gone. I could've managed."

She passed me a side glance. "And I should've left you alone?"

I don't reply, and let her words ring in my ears again and again.

'I should've left you alone?'

"Isn't that what I did?" I ask, after quite the moment.

"What?" She asks, and I realise it had been a minute. She probably didn't remember what she'd just spoken.

"Left you alone, I mean? Isn't that what I did?" I look at her but not being able to do that without feeling remorse, I keep alternating between looking at her and the footpath again, as my hands dig deeper into my pockets.

"Manik," she says, in a firm voice. "It's been three years. Can we not..?"

"Can we not what, Nandini?" I ask.

"Talk about the past." She says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Is that what you want?" I ask.

She was quick to retaliate. "Isn't that what I just said?"

I clear my throat. "But in my life, I've realised, there's a lot of difference between what people say and what they actually want."

She doesn't say anything in return. We walk in silence and I realise we had reached a bridge. It was a small bridge, one similar to what you find in Mia's you sets, built over a small man-made lake which has one of the clearest waters in all of America.

While it's known for it's beauty and the way the water clearly reflects the sky, making an illusion of a mirror, the reason why I was fond of it was except that it lies geographically in the middle of mine and Nandini's houses, this was also the place where we'd come for our first date, as seventeen year old teenagers on a canoe ride through this lake, determined to play this world together someday, not knowing it would be the world who'd play us instead.

My hands lazily trailed on the metal railings which were hot on this sunny afternoon despite the fact that the sun was almost below the horizon, and flashes of our first date played in the back of my head.

It was crazy to think how it was only a few years ago, and we were so madly in love, so excited to be together, just too afraid to accept it, and today, despite accepting it and still being in love, we stood in this same place as only strangers with memories.

I think I could have lived in flashes of my past all the way back to Nandini's house, had she not broken my reverie.

"What do you want from me, Manik?" She said, her voice slightly cracking.

I looked at her, and realised she had slowed walking.
"I want you to tell me what you want." I slowed walking too, to match her pace.

"No," She gulped. "You don't want me to tell you what you want. You want to hear something specific. Just tell me what you want to hear so I can say it and we can get done with this."