Loving Him

Chapter 29

His smile widened and she couldn't help smiling in turn. Just like that, they were good again.

"So are you ready to see my brother?" He asked with all seriousness.

"Oof!" She blew out a forceful breath. "Yeah, I am. Let's go in."

He nodded and flashed her another heart melting smile before pushing the door open and immediately she stepped in, she heard the door shutting behind her. She turned around to see that Raymond hadn't followed her in. Traitor.

Her eyes of their own accord flew to the bed where Alex was half lying, half sitting. His head had turned when he'd heard the sound of the door opening and now, their gazes were locked on each other.

Sophie sucked in a deep breath as she let her eyes rove over him. He was dressed in a plain blue hospital gown and he had a drip connected to his left hand.

She felt overwhelmed. It had already been a week but seeing him looking so vulnerable on an hospital bed made her realize how close she could have been to losing him. She snapped her eyes closed, struggling to pull herself together before she broke down and started crying right there.

Convinced she had herself under control, she opened her eyes to see he was staring at her as intently as she had been at him but as usual, she didn't know what he was thinking. In that moment, she really really wished she did. Did he miss her as much as she missed him?

Shoving her insecurities aside, she took the steps until she was standing right beside his bed. "Hi."

"Hi," he whispered back, his eyes not straying an inch from hers.

She had no idea what to say. She'd rehearsed how the whole conversation was going to play out when she visited him about a hundred times over the past week and yet, there she was in front of him with her tongue in a knot. Say something, Sophie.

"You look good." What? That's the best you can say to someone that just had surgery?

He raised an amused brow at her. "That's good, right?"

She almost face palmed. "Yeah. Uh, how are you feeling?"

"I'm good, just like you said." he replied, teasing her. "How are you feeling?"

A confused frown marred her face. "I'm not the one that just had my stomach slit open."

"Trust me, you definitely look the part right now," he retorted.

Ouch. She feigned offence, her face contouring into a look of mock displeasure. She felt the tension slowly dissipating out of her body. It was just Alex-- Distrustful, jerk-ish Alex. "Just come right out and tell me I look horrible, okay?"

"What? I didn't mean..." He started to refute her, looking alarmed then he saw the smile slowly inching on the side of her lip. Scoffing, he said, "You almost got me there."

"Almost is good enough," she hummed, feeling more relaxed. She dragged the chair beside her closer to herself and proceeded to sit on it. Attempting a serious look, she asked, "Seriously, how are you doing?"

She felt her heart jump when his face split into a genuine smile, feeling giddy that it was on her account. She didn't stop the smile that bloomed on her face, not that she could if she tried. He had the most beautiful smile and she was again struck by how much she'd grown to love him in such short amount of time. The feeling left her disoriented and dizzy.

"I'm fine, Sophia. Really," he assured.

The words pierced straight through her worry, easing her distraction and soothing her-- a little. "I'd believe you, you know? But I can't help thinking you won't say anything even if you feel like there is something wrong with you."

She watched his face transition from playful to cautious in a heartbeat. This was probably not the right time to broach the subject, but was there ever good timing for them?

"Then why do you keep asking? If you're not going to believe me anyway." He sounded curt, almost harsh but she didn't let it deter her. She was fast becoming a pro at dealing with Alex.

"Because that's still the only way I could know if you are in pain," she answered honestly. When he didn't say anything else, she continued, "I really wish you'd learn to trust me, Alex and that you'd realize that I'm not going anywhere."

He shook his head slightly, "This isn't the right time to discuss this."

"No, it's the right time," she argued. "The minute you're out of this hospital, which I'm guessing will be soon knowing the kind of person you are, I probably won't see you again. Even seated here, I can't help but think you're just a second away from kicking me out."

"That's not true," he grumbled out.

"Isn't it? You didn't even want me here in the first place. And maybe you still don't." She was silently daring him to deny it, knowing there was no way he could.

He looked away from her, his jaw working furiously. She hadn't noticed before, but on a closer look, she could see the telltale sign of stress on him -- in the worry lines that were etched on his features and in the slight droop of his shoulders. It dawned on her that he'd been going through a lot, with the burden he'd unnecessarily placed on himself and the whole stress with the surgery. She wanted to lighten them, not add to them.

Without thinking, she lifted her hand to place them over his that were clenched tightly. The gesture surprised him and herself as tingles traveled from her hand through the whole of her body. He turned his face slowly until his eyes rested on their joined hands. If possible, his fist tightened even more and she was tempted to tear her hand away but then his face shifted to hers once more and there was something different in his gaze and the air around them had changed.

Suddenly, it felt like that was the defining moment. That moment that would make or break them. Instinctively, her hands tightened over his and with conviction, she reaffirmed what she'd been telling him for a long time, "I'm not going anywhere."

Again, she'd one again put herself out there and like every other time, he had the power to reject her and there was no doubt that it was going to hurt even worse than the first time. He didn't say anything and she was on the verge of passing out from how suffocating the silence between them was. Slowly, his hand that was in hers relaxed and his face broke into a gentle smile.

Keeping his eyes fixed on hers, his fingers laced with hers and he gave her a small nod. "Okay."

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