I was in 4th grade when i started imagining scenarios in my head.
Scenarios that will never happen.
Scenarios that keeps me awake at night.
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I was 9 at the time, i was in my house sitting on a chair, i was so bored that i thought of thinking scenarios in my head.
That's my way of entertaining myself when i have nothing to do at home.
At first, it was ok, it was fun making scenarios and stories in my head, but then it went a little overboard.
My mind can't stop making stories, it can't stop that oftenly it's hard for me to sleep. It's bad becuase i actually became anemic because of lack of sleep
Especially now that i'm in high school. I have to wake up very early since i'm slow at getting ready for school.
But luckily i went back at being not anemic.
And one time i thought to myself that i don't want to think of scenarios in my head anymore, cause i'm afraid that i'd get too attached and lose connection to the real world.
But i can't
I just can't
It's too late.
I got attached.
And whenever i try to cut it out of my system.
It hurts me.
Well, i mean.
How can you let go of something that became a part of you?
How am i supposed to?
I don't want to.
But at the same time.
I want to.
I just want to write all of it out until i stopped thinking of it.
But i can't
I don't think i can.
I hate the fact that...
Everything i'm thinking.
Won't come true to me.
Like....
Is this even healthy?
Is this normal?
I want an answer.
I NEED an answer.
