Book Reviews [closed]

Woman Of Gold, By Libifumby34

This paragraph had a few spelling errors. "Adrenalin" should have an e at the end, and "injures" should be injuries, also it should be more injuries, not "any more injures."
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Into this:
I bit back a screech as her hoof connected with my elbow, causing a burst of pain to rocket through me. Adrenaline surged through my system, and I rolled out of the way of her thrashing hooves, avoiding more injuries.

This sentence below was just straight up confusing. Were they taking off masks? I had no idea what you meant but I interpreted it as them taking off masks, so if they were then change the sentence to something like this.

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Into this:
Men raced across the deck, rushing to tie down objects. I watched them lowering their masks.

For this paragraph it wasn't that much, just some spelling errors.
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Into this:
The feeling is mutual, dog. The she-dog good breeding showed in her plush coat of fur,  bright eyes and swift build. She was hardly a commoners dog. I slung my load onto my shoulders, knowing that we would have to hurry if we're to meet any ships leaving the tide.

Description
The description was more than enough. It was so good and whenever you described the introduction to a new chapter, I could envision it in my mind. But if I'm being honest, the description can either make or break the story, and in this case I felt like it was right in the middle and it was both good and bad. The description of the story was so solid and durable, but you don't always need to describe every little small thing. This is a common mistake and it's not really a ginormous issue that takes a toll on the entire story, but it still messes with the story a little.

Describing all the small things in the story and describing those tiny things for too long makes the description unbalanced. You want the story to have an equally good description and an equally good plot, but when you describe so many tiny details in 3 paragraphs each chapter, nothing's really happening in the story.

Here's some examples. Also, in the two examples listed below you put too many commas. If you have trouble with this, remember that when you insert a comma there's a small "pause," and you shouldn't make that pause so often.

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Into this:
Through many heated arguments and a lot of bickering, Otto and I had boarded the ship, the Flower De Luce. It was a French cargo ship, which was according to the ditzy old Matheus, a man fitting the Kings description had boarded. But upon boarding the vessel, we had discovered too late that the man had actually boarded the Flower De Luce's sisters ship, but they were thankfully heading the the same port. We had also found out that it was planned to be a two day journey of the weather was as predicted.

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Into this:
This seemed to be where the men spent their time, over dry malt biscuits and alcohol. That is, when they weren't spending time with the horses and shoveling coal. I noticed the men already had sunken features, even though the voyage had only just begun. Their bloodshot eyes stared blankly at their surroundings.

Characters
The characters were bearable. Aria was brave and did what any typical protagonist thought was right. Progressively, I saw Arias real personality come out more and more which was nice because it showed her character development, and her true self. She was ambitious, kind hearted and determined to make things right. I also liked Otto a lot. The characters were spot on, because going into the story and reading it further really showed the characters strengths and weaknesses. Otto had a hard time trusting people, while Aria had a lot of pride.

Pros:
-Dialogue
-Characters

Cons:
-First Impression
-Plot
-Grammar/Spelling