Xavier [COMPLETED]

16.

"Fuck!" Xavier bellowed. He picked up the plate and threw it on to the counter. "Fucking hell!"

I got off the sofa and went to the kitchen. Xavier had his face stuck in he palms of his hands which rested on the counter besides the burnt food. Oh Xavier.

"Xavier?" I said gently as I made my way to him. "Are you okay?" I asked.

Xavier threw the plate of burnt food on to the floor after swiping his arm across the counter in anger.

He lifted his head and slammed his fists down on the counter. I jumped out of my skin.

"Xavier? The food doesn't matter." I stayed truthfully. It didn't matter at all to me, it was the thought that counted.

"It does matter!" Xavier boomed. "It fucking matters to me! I try and I try and I try but all I do is mess every single fucking thing up!" He slammed his fist again. I got closer to him and tried to grab his hand but he shot away.

"Xav-"

"Why can't I do anything right? I just wanted to do something romantic for you, something to show you how grateful I am to have a girlfriend like you-"

"A girlfriend?" I spluttered back. My heart stopped. A girlfriend? Did he just call me his girlfriend? Xavier called me his girlfriend. Was I dreaming?

Xavier stopped what he was doing as he looked at me with wide eyes. His chest was still heaving up and down but we stayed still looking at each other.

"Girlfriend?" I whispered back.

"I-It came out of my mouth, I just...just-" Xavier stuttered nervously as he looked to me.

"Girlfriend." I stated and suddenly, I smiled his way. It came and I couldn't stop it, I really smiled his way. My teeth on full glare and the happiness shining in my eyes. Girlfriend?

"It didn't mean to freak you out, it just came from my mouth-" I came closer to Xavier and automatically cut him off from saying anymore.

"Do you really want me to be your girlfriend?" I asked. Xavier looked to me.

"I just wanted this to be good for you, I just wanted to see you happy and I messed that up, it came from my mouth, you shouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone like me." Xavier stated, his voice hoarse and croaked. I looked up to him, he looked down to the floor.

"What if I did?" I questioned.

"You shouldn't." He stated back. He sighed before turning around so I couldn't see him.

"Xavier, what's going on inside that head of yours?" I asked softly. I went to stand next to him, I craned my head so I could see part of his face.

"Nothing."

"Xavier, honestly, what are you thinking?" I asked again. I laid my hand on Xavier's back.

"I don't know." Xavier sighed again before squeezing his eyes shut. "I want you, I need you, but I'm too scared, I'm too scared to start anything, I'm seriously not boyfriend material, honestly you'd be better off without me, I don't want to hurt you, I am capable of hurting you emotionally without even recognising it."

"I can live with that, I'm strong enough." I reasoned. I wasn't one to be thinking so much in to things, I usually did what I wanted without really thinking.

"No you don't understand."

"Make me understand." I said back firmly. "Make me understand it, because believe me I want this."

"You're better off with someone else." Xavier stated.

"So you want me to go and be with someone else?" I asked just as my heart sank. Xavier's face snapped to mine and I could see the out line of anger in his eyes.