Who's Gonna Love You Like Me? [Brother's Best Friend!Calum AU]

Part 6

Josie didn't back down, staring up at him as she scoffed almost humorlessly, "Why're you getting mad?"

Calum's broad shoulders instantly fell, expression relaxing as he closed his eyes and exhaled sharply. "I'm not mad," he said, his tone evidently falling calmer than before. When he opened his eyes, brown eyes meeting Josie's blue, she saw the emotions swimming in his dark irises. Turbulent, overwhelmed, desperate to be voiced. He looked down at her, almost defeated as he said quietly, "You've no idea how hard it is to keep myself from thinking 'bout you."

Her heart was pounding, his words tickling her veins and setting deep into her bones as she kept her gaze on him. Throat dry, Josie briefly bit the inside of her cheek before replying softly, "I think I've got a pretty good idea."

And, shit, she did. She knew exactly how hard it was—all she was capable of was think about Calum. About his smile and eyes and the way his lips moved so perfectly against hers and how his touch ignited a fire in her that was impossible to put out. A fire that was still burning from that one night all those months ago. Her body ached for him and how he seemed to know it so well, and Josie herself yearned for things between them to go back to the way they used to be.

A damn conundrum of wanting to be the kind of friends they were, but also craving him in a way that was well beyond that of a friendship. Was it so impossible to want both?

Calum's eyes were on hers, the soft glow of the lamp by the couch illuminating his features as he gazed at her. He no longer hid his emotions from his face, showing just how much this situation pressed him, like it did her, throat working at her words. With a resigned shake of his head, Calum spoke in a tone that carried his guilt as he said, "I never wanted to hurt you, Jos. I just have no idea what to do."

She could tell, so clearly, how much he meant that. Not knowing what the next step forward was weighing on his shoulders, just like it was for her. And Josie wished it wasn't that big of a deal, but she knew it was. Knew that between her being Luke's sister and Calum being his best friend, this was a relationship that they weren't really meant to pursue. But they'd already broken an unspoken rule that night in her dorm room, and if Josie was being painfully honest, the guilt of betraying Luke wasn't as strong as her growing feelings for Calum.

Throat working, some risky words danced at the tip of her tongue, and at this point, Josie decided she wasn't going to keep anything to herself. The only way to move forward with Calum was to be honest and hope he would reciprocate. One corner of her lips twitched into the subtlest, smallest smiles. "You know I'd... I'd never felt as content in any of my relationships than I did during that one night with you," she confessed, the depth of her words warming her cheeks as Calum's dark eyes remained locked with her blue. "And I know it's got a lot to do with the fact that we were already such good friends, and that you'd always been such an important part of my life. I don't—" Josie paused, taking a breath, noting the subtle yet encouraging raise of Calum's eyebrows that prompted her to finish gently, "I don't think it's wrong for us to want more."

Calum bit the corner of his lower lip, deeply taking Josie's words into consideration. How couldn't he? It wasn't a situation they could just jump into without giving it much thought. He let out a soft scoff, a ghost of a smirk on his lips before he carefully said, "It'd be pretty selfish of us."

"And risky," Josie agreed, voice quiet in the otherwise empty house as she puckered her lips briefly, all too aware of Calum's gaze on her. There was a twisting in her chest, a ball of lead made from self doubt settling in her stomach as she reluctantly added, "I don't have the best track record when it comes to relationships."

His jaw clenched briefly, chin lifting as he kept his gaze on hers. Then, in a promising, quiet tone, Calum said, "This time could be different."

You were supposed to be different.