Marham Dard Par

Chapter Twenty Three

Kunal liked to think that he'd repented for all his mistakes, or at least, was in the process of doing so. Every tear that he'd made Mishti cry, every time he'd hurt Abir, every time he'd been the reason for Kuhu's pain - he was erasing it now by being the best friend, brother, and husband he could be - even if somethings came to him easier than the others. 

Mishti was his best friend now, his brother had never been happier, and him and Kuhu had established a tentative, if fragile, partnership. He'd been feeling a lot lighter since his talk with Mishti, and once he'd removed the pressure of falling in love with Kuhu from himself, he felt like he was able to breathe in the relationship, which unsurprisingly made him a better partner to Kuhu as well. She'd gone over to the Maheshwari House for a few days and they'd kept in constant via text, and while he could really do without her texts cribbing about Mishti, it felt like they were moving forward in their relationship. 

So, all in all, Kunal felt like he was in a much better place than he had been 3 months ago, and that soon, his sins would be washed away from his soul, and he'd be a new person. Someone with redeeming qualities, someone who had learnt from his mistakes. 

Only now was he realizing that he hadn't repented for anything, because if he had, God wouldn't have chosen to punish him in such a way. His mother wasn't actually his mother? And she'd used that as a shield to have his brother give up the love of his life? 

Parul Masi's words echoed in his ears on repeat. He wasn't Meenakshi Rajvansh's son. He wasn't his Abir Bhai's brother. He wasn't a Rajvansh, period. He was Parul Kapadia's son… A betrayal that his adoptive mother had taken into her home, and given her identity, her name. 

Had this how Mishti had felt? When she'd found out that her mother had abandoned her to marry someone else, and then her grandma had shipped her off to the Maheshwaris? Had she felt as unwanted as he did right now… Knowing his birth mother felt it better to live this way… With everything she spoke or did being controlled by someone as manipulative as his adoptive mother rather than accepting her child's responsibility? Had she felt like this when she'd found out that she'd been lied to her entire life when she found out her father's truth? And then… He'd gone ahead and poked at those exact things, in order to hurt her. He'd been so vile. And she'd taken it all with her head held high. Not once had she crossed a line. 

As if that wasn't enough, he was also the reason why her fiance had broken up with her. Why he'd spewed all those cruel, vindictive, and entirely untrue things about her and humiliated her in front of both their families before unceremoniously dumping her like yesterday's trash. 

He was the reason why his Bhai had been going through hell in the past few months. Why his brother had been forced to be someone he was not. Why he'd been forced to say all those disgusting things about the love of his life, and that too so publically, knowing how much it would hurt her. Why his brother had spent the past few months in isolation, around the family, but not with them. Smiling, but not happy. After everything his Bhai had done for him, Kunal had repaid it all by separating Abir & Mishti, and being the reason behind their pain. 

Kunal had never been more disgusted with himself. Not even when he'd realized how badly he'd behaved with Mishti and Kuhu, not when he'd seen his brother crying because he was unable to choose between Kunal and Mishti, not when he'd blindly followed his mother's orders and ruined so many people's lives. But, finding out the truth behind Mishti and his Bhai's break up, and knowing he'd caused it… It made Kunal feel like he was the most wretched person on the planet.

He saw, now, that his brother had been protecting him by lying about the break up, and that Mishti had done the same when she'd refused to tell him the reason behind the break up when he'd asked her. Mishti… Who'd chosen to protect him despite his incorrigible behaviour towards her. Mishti, his best friend, who understood him so well. Mishti, who knew what it felt to realize your parents had abandoned you. Mishti. He needed her. He needed her right now.