scarred past » cake

1: hey its calum

calum: hey its calum from the online game idk you sounded cool so i thought... yeah but i'm sorry for disturbing you

luke: no it's alright, i remember you

calum: oh really?? that's awesome

luke: haha yes

calum: so how are you doing

luke: i'm okay, and you?

calum: yeah life seems cool atm

luke: yeah

calum: yeah

luke: yeah

calum: this turned awkward lol

luke: yeah

calum: i don't rly know how to start a conversation.. so

luke: yeah

calum: oh c'mon stop being lame

luke: heh sorry it's just I'm bad at these things

calum: whay do u mean with "these things" ? lmao

calum: *what

luke: i dunno? making friends i guess??

calum: okay i understand

calum: so

calum: do you like bands

luke: yeah i like bands v much

calum: oh nice me2

luke: yeah

calum: yeah

luke: yeah

!¡!

calum sat down on his bed and let out a quiet sigh. he for once thought that he could make a friend or such, but of course he couldn't keep up a conversation.
for calum, it always was like this, when he finally found someone nice with the same humor as himself, he would ruin it by being awkward.

as long as he could remember he was the weird kid. or well his parents and other adults used to call him "special" and encourage him that it was good that he went his own way, but as the years went, calum understood that they were just trying to hide the fact that he was a bit of a freak.

he was about nine years old when he started feeling things, things no seven year old should ever feel -- he felt fat and he felt ugly. he didn't like it, not one bit. but calum continued to eat as he did before and tried to ignore the fact that he felt ugly and disgusting.
when he turned twelve years old he already dedicated the most of his free time to be on the computer, where no one could see how he looked.

now he was fourteen years old and very insecure. he felt overweight, too tall, ugly, and stupid - you could say he wasn't that fond of himself. calum had some friends from his school who he hung out with, but most of his friends came from the internet. just recently he'd started talking to luke, a blonde guy who just happened to be on the same online game as calum.

luke was nice and calum didn't mind spending his time on chatting with him on his computer. but after a while calum started to get bored with the online game, which meant he wasn't on there to talk to luke as much as before. so he had asked the blonde boy for his number so they could keep in contact.
but as calum mentioned before, he wasn't good at making conversation and he felt like luke just thought he was weird.

calum laid down on his bed, earbuds plugged in, trying to sleep. but he already new he wouldn't get any sleep that night, because everything he could think of was luke, luke, and once again: luke.