Walking in the Wind (Valdemora Series #2)

Chapter 34

"You need to talk. Don't worry, babalik naman ako. Don't miss the chance."

And with that, he went out leaving me together with Joaquin. Pinahiga na niya si Theo saka inalisan ng sapatos. He even managed to be on his side and then tried fixing some strand of Theo's hair.

"Ligo lang ako," paalam ko at hindi na hinintay pa ang sagot niya. Pumasok ako sa bathroom saka inumpisahang maligo.

I'm deeply thinking of what we'll going to talk. Saan ako mag-uumpisa? Simula noong iniwan niya ako? I have lots of memories on my phone and camera. Siguro iyon ang ipapakita ko sa kanya.

Theo's baby pictures and then the video clips that he missed. Hindi ko naman binura lahat nang iyon para sa pagkakataong ito.

It took me some minutes to finally finished what I'm doing. Nang makalabas na ay hindi man lang nagbago ang posisyon nito. Naroon pa rin at nasa tabi ng anak.

He seems enjoying watching him sleep. Ni hindi niya naramdamang antukin. He didn't even move, I guess.

Kinuha ko iyong phone saka siya sinabihang mag-usap. We went on the veranda. Hinayaan kong maupo ito sa tabi ko habang naghihintay ng kung anong sasabihin.

He's serious and I think that he really wants to talk about everything now. Alam ko rin naman na kahit anak nga niya iyon ay may ilang katanungan pa rin ang nasa isipan niya.

"You didn't tell me? Bakit?"

Siya na ang bumasag sa katahimikang namutawi. Mayroong pait at sakit sa boses niyang iyon at hindi ko naman magawang magalit sa kanya.

He's the father but he doesn't know everything. Hindi ko rin naman tinago ang lahat sa kanya.

"All this time, I thought... his father was Maverieck. I thought you're having your happy times now and then you'll invite me to tell that he's my son?"

Huminga ako ng malalim.

Maybe he saw it from Mavy's posts. Alam ko kasing lagi niyang pino-post iyong picture nila ni Theo kaya hindi na ako nagtaka. He probably got the idea there.

"I know that you're surprised--"

"I really am, Aria! Bakit sa ilang taon man lang, hindi ka naglakas loob na sabihin sa akin? Are you that selfish?"

"Kung sinabi ko ba, magagawa mong bumalik kaagad sa amin?" I fired back at him. "You never saved me before, Joaquin, so don't expect that I'll beg on my knees to make you come back to us."

He sarcastically let out a laugh. Ngayon ay alam kong galit na ito. I can see his face being red now.

"Noong iniwan mo ako, hindi lang ako ang nawalan. Pati ang buhay na nasa loob ko ay nawalan rin. You left us being empty. Kinaya ko ang lahat ng mag-isa, ng wala ka sa tabi ko. Pero hindi kasama doon ang hindi ko pagpapakilala sa'yo sa kanya bilang ama niya."

"You can atleast just told me before!Bakit kailangang umabot ng ganito katagal, ha?"

His longing expressions were gone. Tila nawala sa isang iglap iyong masaya niyang mukha.

"Because I thought you're already settled! Hindi mo alam kung gaano kahirap sa akin noon na tanggapin na hinding-hindi ka na babalik pa sa amin! That you have your own family now! Masakit para sa akin, Joaquin. Iyong pinlano nating dalawa noon, akala ko sa akin matutupad. But seeing how happy you are on that picture made me realize that you're not really meant for me! Na hindi  para sa akin iyong mga sinabi mo!"