"Police say twelve people are dead, more injured."

I was shocked into silence. Twelve. Twelve people dead. I opened my mouth to respond when a new, sharp pain sliced across my abdomen. Before I could stop myself, I set out a gasp in pain and Christina offered me her arm, which I took immediately. 

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Shut up. I know. So just shut up. There's no one around and Derek is asleep, it's okay." Christina assured me. 

"Derek's okay, you're okay, Alex is okay, Lexie is okay. Owen, April, Jackson, and Teddy are okay. Do you know about Bailey? Or Callie or Arizona? Oh, and Mark and Richard"

"Bailey was with Percy when he died. But she's fine. Arizona went to Seattle Pres with Mark and I'm not sure where Callie is."

"Do they know about Derek?"

"I don't know."

I pulled back from Christina. "Not a word of this to anyone." I commanded.

She knew exactly what I was talking about. "Are you going to tell Derek?"

"Don't say anything to Derek. No one says anything to Derek. Not a single word." I knew my tone was hostile, I needed to make sure she knew that no one could know.

"You need to get checked out."

"Not now," I insisted and I turned around to slip back into Derek's room. 

I was aware of Christina watching me as I returned to the uncomfortable chair by Derek's bed. He was still asleep, I just sat there and watched his heart monitor. The cramps in my stomach didn't stop, and it had been awhile. Christina was right, I needed to get checked out, but I couldn't leave Derek. 

I wasn't hungry, I wasn't thirsty and I couldn't sleep. If my waking thoughts were plagued by the gunman, my dreams certainly would be too. Christina walked into the room. She had a bottle of water and some pills in her hand.

"Ibuprofen. Take them," She insisted, handing them to me. 

I forced a weak smile and nodded my thanks as I took the pain medicine and a small sip of water. Christina went over to check Derek's vitals and incision site, which woke him up.

"Sorry, this will only take a minute, and Dr. Altman should be back soon, if you want her to take over your post-op. I know I'm only a resident," Christina said quickly.

"No. You saved my life," Derek whispered "you get to see me through the finish line."

Christina smiled and rested a hand on his arm.

"Thank you," He looked into her eyes sincerely. 

"You're welcome. Meredith would never have forgiven me if I hadn't," Christina joked.

I smiled and stood up, ignoring and trying to conceal the protests from my abdomen. Christina was trying to lighten the mood, she was never any good at the sentimental stuff. Derek turned his head to look at me.

"Did you call my family?"

"Oh god, no, I didn't think to. I'm so sorry, I can call them now-" I kicked myself for not thinking about that before.

"No, Meredith, don't. I'll call them when I'm out of the hospital. I can't," He shuttered, "I don't know if I can call up my mother and sisters and tell them I've been shot just yet." 

"Oh. Okay, if that's what you want," I said slowly.

"It is," He cleared his throat. "how soon will I be able to return to work?" He asked Christina.

"Oh, that's a long way off. Let's take it one step at a time. With no complications, you can probably leave the hospital in two weeks. After that, it's bedrest for another week or so. You can start doing light things around the house after that, but work won't be for about a month and a half."

Derek groaned. "I don't think I can make it that long. How much more boring can it get?" 

I laughed lightly, hoping it didn't sound forced. Christina shot me a concerned look, but Derek didn't seem to catch on. 

"Meredith," Derek turned to look at me, "h-how many people died today?"

That was not a question I was expecting him to ask. I opened my mouth to reply, but nothing came out.

"Twelve. Including Reed Adamson and Charles Percy." Christina answered for me.

The number seemed to shock Derek. We sat in silence for a few minutes before he spoke again.

"What's the status of the hospital?"

Of course he was asking. He was chief. But I didn't know. I had spent my time after the shooting crying in the shower. His gaze burned into me, and I shifted my weight, giving Cristina a helpless look.

"Oh, uh, elective procedures have been cancelled and we are closed to trauma. Patients including the ones injuring during the shooting have been transferred to Seattle Pres and a lot of our doctors are over there helping out now." 

Derek nodded. "How many injured in the shooting?"

"We don't know just yet-"

"Alex was shot." I said bluntly, cutting Christina off.

The two people in the room stared at me. Derek reached for my hand, which I quickly grasped.

"Owen too." Christina murmured softly, looking at the ground.

"But they're alive?" Derek asked.

"Teddy operated on Alex at Seattle Pres and I heard he's in recovery now. Owen was shot here, while....uh...." Christina looked at me, struggling to find words.

"He was shot here in the shoulder, but it was through and through and didn't do any major damage so he'll be fine." I finished for her. 

Derek nodded again, although is eyes thoughtfully went from Christina to me. He knew we weren't telling him something. 

"Anything else I need to know?" He asked carefully.

Christina stared directly at me, expectantly. 

"No. But, uh, we can update you as we know more." I said.

Christina nodded and turned to leave, glaring at me with disapproval as she walked out the door. At least she had kept her mouth shut. She wanted me to tell him about the baby. But I couldn't, he wasn't strong enough. It was a burden I would have to carry by myself. 

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