Broken Circuits (VeeMark)

Chapter Seventeen

Mark and Vee fell into a comfortable pattern of staying together as much as possible. It was peaceful. They would alternate between their homes for where they would sleep, not parting for even a night. Every day, they would arrive at work together, separating for a few hours to go to their own departments but meeting whenever they had breaks. It wasn't like they just spent time with each other either. Their friends like Bar and James would join them and they were used to the practically inseparable couple, so they no longer teased them, well, not much.

In the beginning, Mark and Vee would get bored after spending so much time together but after a few arguments originating in irritation they learned; if they needed space they should say so. Mark was the one most likely to get tired because of his introverted nature and always worried when he had to tell Vee he needed time alone, but Vee understood.

Vee knew that Mark loved him; it was clear from his actions. And Vee loved Mark. Surprisingly, despite his penchant for talking and his inherent confidence in most situations, Vee found himself unable to say those words to Mark. Whenever he tried, they would die in his throat. It was frustrating and it made Vee feel more than a little guilty. Mark was quiet and talking was not his thing. Instead, he showed how he felt by taking actions, both big and small, to take care of Vee. It was always delighting for Vee and he tried his best to reciprocate but he hadn't had much experience being truly heartfelt. For Vee, it became more and more glaringly obvious that he needed to tell Mark how he felt. He wanted to make sure Mark knew that his deep feelings were not one-sided. So, Vee began practicing, much to the amusement of Bar, who had wandered into Vee's office several times to find the man pacing and confidently stating, to himself, "I love you."

It was one of those times when Bar finally decided he had to intervene. Weeks had passed and Vee had still not managed to say it to Mark.

"Okay, Vee. What the hell?"

"Mmm?" Vee murmured, looking over to see Bar leaning in the doorway, "Oh, you know this is the only time I can practice without Mark hearing."

"Yeah, I know. I'm not surprised at that. Actually, I'm shocked because you still. Haven't. Told. Him. You've been together for months now!"

"Ugh, Bar. Don't remind me. I'm trying here."

"I can see that. What's stopping you from saying 'I love you'?"

"If I knew, I wouldn't be in this situation!"

"Vee," Bar asked, exuding calm as he crossed the room, letting the door close behind him, "Do you love Mark?"

"Yes. Oh, I love him so much," Vee whispered, flopping back onto his chair, "I can't... I can't even begin to describe how much I love him."

"Ah, you two are so cute."

"We are, aren't we?" Vee chuckled, smiling to himself as he thought about Mark.

"Yes, Vee. The cutest I have ever seen by far."

Vee leaned back, nodding in satisfaction at the compliment. It was true, of course. He and Mark were in love, and more than that, they trusted each other implicitly. They trusted that they would take care of and protect each other.

"It's driving me crazy that I can't tell Mark how I feel."

"Is it nerves?"

"I don't know, maybe. It's the first time I've truly meant it. The first time I've ever truly been in love. And I know Mark loves me, but I want to make sure that he knows that I love him."

"I don't know what to say, Vee. You're going to have to try and push through it. You're going to have to try."

There was a silence after that, and it lasted so long that it almost became uncomfortable. Bar hoped that his advice, or more like order, helped Vee. His friend deserved love.

"You're right. No more practicing. I'm going for it, tonight!"

"Tonight?"

"Tonight," Vee stated resolutely, slamming a hand on the armrest to punctuate his point.

Unfortunately, the closer it came to 'tonight' the more panicked Vee became. It did not go unnoticed by Mark when they arrived home that Vee appeared to be trembling, but he let it go when he saw the determined look in Vee's eyes. If Vee wanted to talk, Mark would be there to listen, but he wasn't going to push. Not yet, anyway.

It was only when they had settled on Mark's bed to watch a movie after dinner that Vee gathered up enough of his courage and forced himself to begin. There was a vague thought plaguing him that he should have made their surroundings more romantic but that would take more time and he didn't want to make Mark wait any longer.

"Mark," Vee murmured, lacing Mark's hand with his, "I want to- No, I need to tell you something."

Noting the serious tone, Mark turned on his side to face Vee and gave him a reassuring look.

"I, uh, I-"

Damn it.

Vee croaked.

Not only could he not say, 'I love you', no other words were coming out either. Vee reached out to stroke Mark's face gently, trying to convey his feelings with the soft stroke of his fingers and warmth of his eyes.

It did not work.

The hopeful expression on Mark's face disappeared and that joyous glimmer in his eyes died in a flash but Mark's disappointment was quickly masked with a smile meant to comfort Vee. Mark knew what was happening. He had realised what Vee had been trying to say and was trying to assure him that it was not necessary with a pleasant smile.

Vee now knew why Mark hated it when he pulled on his charming mask. It was disconcerting to see someone hide how they felt, especially when you truly knew them, and it was also beyond annoying. He wanted to know how Mark felt, even if it hurt him, but it was Mark. Mark loved him and he didn't want to hurt Vee, nor did he want to push Vee before he was ready.

Unfortunately, Mark had not had much experience hiding his emotions, likely due to his antisocial disposition, and his smile wavered. With a, what was probably supposed to be a carefree but instead came out rather shaky, laugh, Mark moved to get off the bed.

Vee was filled with panic and he quickly grabbed Mark to pull him back.

"Mark, wait I-"

"It's okay, Vee," Mark placated him, patting his arm before hopping off the bed and walking towards the door.

Vee couldn't let him leave. If Mark left, Vee would have failed to show Mark how much he meant to Vee, how much he loved him.

"Mark, marry me."