More than friends, less than lovers. (A Neymar Jr. Fanfiction)

Chapter 39 - Not going anywhere

We all silently sat back in our chair and silently prayed we would never hear such thing again.

Don’t get me wrong. I respected people and I respected Neymar’s choice to get a new girlfriends because like he said, I can’t determine who he loves but I couldn’t look at her without feeling the need to strangle her.

Let me tell you that alcohol and emotions are not a good combination. And unfortunately for me, I always got a bit emotional when I was a little drunk. And that night, it wasn’t any different. 

'Please, I got it at covered.’ I assured the bartender a little tipsy before drinking the next shot. I didn’t count them but let’s say alcohol was taking over my brain.

I felt a hand at my back and looked up to see Carol standing there. 'Haven’t you had enough?’ I shook my head before shoving some money towards the hot guy behind the bar. She shook her head before patting my back. 'Take it easy on those shots.’ I nodded and waited until she was away and quickly drowned the liquor. 'Another one please.’ I said while the bartender shook his head before running over to other customers. 

'You know, we can’t talk if you’re drunk.’ An oh so familiar voice stated before sitting on the free chair next to me. 'Oh, really?’ His hand rested on my back. 'I’m serious.’ 

'So am I, I’m not drunk yet.’ I simply replied before downing the other shot. 'That will be on me.’ He said before shoving some money to the bartender and grabbing my jacket and purse. 'And now, I’m taking you home.’ 

'If I don’t want to go home, I don’t need to.’ I simply replied before gazing over at him. 'Oh no?’ I shook my head. 'I’m grown up, I’m not your girlfriend nor fiancée so I don’t think I need to obey you, do I?’ He sighed before taking a seat next to me and hanging my purse and jacket on the other chair. 'No, you’re right.’ He called the bartender so we would get new drinks and he smiled at me. 

'How’s life treating you?’ He asked while playing with his glass. I smiled before looking at my own. 'It’s okay. How are you?’ I asked before letting some of the fluid burning down my throat. 'Like shit.’  He answered honestly which caused me to look at him while frowning. 'What?’ 

'I lost you. I lost my lover and best friend. I’m together with the girl that was the reason we broke up. Can I sink any lower?’ I sighed before shoving a little with my glass. 'You can.’ I said before looking at him. 'How?’ 

'By pretending you’re okay, by pretending you’re not looking at your phone checking if your ex has sent you a message. By saying you don’t want to talk anymore but the truth is the only thing you want to is to talk.’ I took a deep breath. 'And that is how you sink even lower.’ I said before going trough my hair with my hand. 'I’m here now, talk to me.’ 

'I want to break up with her, I do.’ He sighed before taking a sip of his glass. 'But it’s just .. I don’t know. There’s something that makes me nervous about her.’ I looked at him with a look of sympathy.

'It’s okay, I get you. She has power.’ I laid a finger against his lips when he wanted to say something. 'No, she has. She made us break up and we went trough a lot, so she has some power.’

It remained silent between us before I softly laughed. 'Oh please, you’re Neymar! If you don’t love her and you’re tired, break up.’ I shook my head. 'Seriously, before us..’ I waved with my hand between us. 'You were so much..’ I needed to think a moment before I found the perfect word. 'Directer, more forward.’ I sighed. 'But now, you’re much softer.’ He threw his head back in laughter.

'The worst part of this all is that you’re right.’ He shook his head and sadly smiled before downing the liquor quickly. 'I was directer towards everyone. I would just say my opinion, say what I had to say but now.. God, I can’t even say my opinion to Jamie her face.’

'Why are you with her anyway?’ I said with an annoyed tone in my voice. He shrugged. 'Like I said earlier, I needed to move on and she was right in front of me.’ He said before taking the other glass. 'I’m with her to forget you.’ He said before squeezing the lemon in his drink. 

'Did you forget me?’ I asked while eyeing his drink. 

'Can you forget uncountable years of friendship?’ He looked up. 'Can you forget the passion, the love we shared?’ I bit on my lip before staring at my hands. 'Because I can’t! Because every time I try to move on, you’re right there in front of me telling me to not move on.’ I looked back up. 

'Your voice keeps repeating itself in my head saying that it was just a break, but here we are.. Aren’t we? Three months later, in a bar in Sao Paulo, saying we still love each other while I’m with someone else.’ 

He shook his head before drinking his last drink and slamming some money down on the counter. 

'Where are you going?’ I asked. 'Outside.’ He said shortly before making his way trough the crowd and leaving me speechless. 

After a few seconds I quickly grabbed my coat and purse before following him outside. 

'Why are you going?’ I asked him when I found him outside and he abruptly turned around. 'I can’t do this, Megan.’ He softly said and I frowned. 'You can’t to what?’

'Talking with you while I’m trying to move on.’ I swallowed. 'I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come..’ But he interrupted me. 'No! I mean, yes!’ He went with a hand trough my hair. 'I’m so glad you came.. Megan, please.. Give me a second chance.’ His voice was pleading as he tried grabbing my hand. I pulled my hand away shaking my head. 'God, what a stupid idea it was..’ I murmured more to myself than to him. 

'You know what? I tried to move on, God.. I tried so hard to move on.’ I looked up to the sky. 'I met the most amazing, perfect guy in Madrid. We went on dates, he showed me how good life could be again but every time we got close to anything all I could think was, he’s not you.’ I shook my head before blinking some times with my eyes so I wouldn’t cry.

'And it was so pathetic because you weren’t missing me. You’ve been together for two months, you looked happy.’ I took a deep breath. 'It felt like you had your life back on track, it felt like you succeeded to move on and I was still standing there, helpless like a lost puppy.’ I locked eyes with him.

'And here we are, spilling our feelings for each other while I promised myself not to come back to you.’ I shook my head. 'Here we are, telling we still love each other at three in the morning, hoping the other us too and hoping things will become like before.’ I swallowed.

'Hoping life will be good for us again..’ I whispered before grabbing his hand. 'I missed you so much.’ I said with a cracking voice before he released my hand and pulled me against his body. 'I’m not going anywhere anymore.’ He whispered in my ear. 

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HAPPY NEWYEAR LOVES <3 took me some time because I decided to write this chapter again but I hope you love it :)