(Elder Mckinley's POV)
I woke up later that day in a bustle of pointy, uncomfortable grass. I managed to get up and dust the dirt off my already soiled pajamas and look around. I had no clue where I was or if I was dreaming. Then my senses finally hit me and I wrenched at the smell of the swamp next to me. It smelled worse than anyone of my 3 dogs crap. Pinching my nose to avoid the smell I decided to investigate. The sun was high in the sky-it was most likely the afternoon unlike when I was last awake. I saw a little shack and an outhouse near the swamp that was emitting the horrid smell. Thinking this was all a dream, I slapped myself hard in the cheek and felt a dull pain. Nope not dreaming, I noted to myself. I went over to the outhouse hoping to find somewhere to pee because I felt like my bladder was ripping my insides apart. I saw the door creek open and someone boomed,
"GET OUT OF ME SWAMP!"
Startled I looked at the creature in front of me. I had always thought I had weird tastes, but this was certainly the strangest. Standing in front of me was the tallest, sexiest-man, ogre, thing I had ever seen. His skin was the color of the most exquisite emeralds and was smooth as butter. My jaw dropped at the sight of him, I had never seen something so beautiful.
"O-o-h hi s-s-ir what's your n-name," I managed to stutter since I was so shunned.
"Shrek", he said, "Get out of me swamp-ogres like me want to be alone."
I swallowed my breath," But sir I have no where to go and you-you-are gorgeous."
I am a hundred percent sure I did not say that, I vowed to myself hiding the fact that I most likely made a fool of myself.
Shrek sighed, "I have never been told that before you are the first..maybe the last, but you look like a frog's arse cheeks."
