Master of my fate - The Governors daughter Sequel

Chapter 2

They kept their course, heading for London. The plan would stay the same, even though everything had changed. Nora never thought she'd be here. On a ship that was hers. Where she was in charge. Where the crew listened to her, where her word was law. It was a strange feeling, to have the brawly crew straighten up when she walked past, as if she did not know that all they ever did was talk about women and what they missed whilst being at sea. A mere few days ago, she'd been one of them, sleeping amongst them, drinking with them, making jokes. But since she'd been made captain, nothing had been the same. She supposed it was good, seeing the crew having respect for her. But she missed them being at ease, treating her as they used to.

"They'll come around you know", Kasper said from his place by the rudder, reading her mind as usual.

"You seem sure of that", she muttered, not feeling convinced.

"I do. You should've seen them when Cap became Captain. They didn't even dare to piss in front of him. But he gave it time and well, you know how much this crew loved Cap." Kasper's tone changed as he spoke, quieting down. Casting him a glance, Nora could see that his gaze had drifted away, and he seemed to be long gone in thoughts.

"You're probably right", she sighed, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I just don't want them to think I'm trying to replace him, that I'm trying to be him." Kasper blinked a few times and looked down at her.

"Don't worry, they won't. You're you, and they love you too. But they're men of the sea, change is not easy for them. All they know are waves and sails. Give them time." Nodding, Nora gave Kasper a light squeeze on the shoulder before heading down to her cabin. There had been a few times where she'd forgotten her new quarters, walking down to the crew, only to find her bed occupied. It felt strange to sleep in the Captains cabin. It did not feel like hers. But she supposed that would come as well, the feeling of ownership, the feeling of her being entitled to all that she had gotten. But for now, it still felt fresh. Like he wasn't really gone. Like she would wake up at any minute, looking up at the familiar ceiling over her old bed, listening to the crew snoring uncoordinated.

Sitting down at the broad oak desk, Nora couldn't help but feel small, like a child playing amongst her father's things. Everything smelled like him, even though he'd been buried almost a week ago. They had dressed him in his favorite clothes and wrapped him in sheets before letting him sink to the bottom of the ocean. Letting him rest where he belonged, amongst the creatures of the sea. Nora couldn't help but think that he was probably fish food by now, but it was more reassuring to imagine him forever buried in the sand, moving with the algae.

Sleeping that night was hard. So many thoughts stirred around in her head. The obligations of being captain still weighed her down. There was so much to do, so much to think about. Even though she had Kasper to help, Nora still felt overwhelmed. She had a whole crew depending on her to know the next move, to make the right decision. A part of her doubted if she'd even last a month, doubted that she was made for this. But another part of her, a wild side that roared from the depth of her soul, knew that this was exactly what she was meant to do. That she knew this ship and it's crew like the back of her hand. That every moment in her life had led up to this, to her finding her fate. Nora had always thought that perhaps she was meant to do more than just serve, that her life had a different meaning. Looking up now at the roof above her bed, she wondered if this was it. If she'd reached her purpose, and that she could life out her days on this ship, living with her crew, her family, not having to worry about anything other than storms and lack of water. Somehow that thought felt reassuring, like she was exactly where she was supposed to be. Feeling the slight movements of the waves under the ship, she fell asleep. And dreamt.

She was standing by the rudder, the wind catching her hair as the waves crashed against the Lady in Red. The otherwise crowded deck was empty, a single seagull being the only other living thing on the ship except Nora herself. She found it odd, but payed it no mind. Instead she gazed out over the ocean, breathing in the cool, salty air. There was no land in sight, yet she did not feel afraid. Nora knew she belonged out on the open waters, that anything else made her feel trapped, that the freedom that came with her beloved ship had been the only thing keeping her above the surface for a long time. Closing her eyes, she enjoyed the moment. Letting the wind play with her hair, droplets of water crashing over the rails, raining down on deck. It was peaceful. The solitude did not bother her, and she ravished in the sensation of being truly free. Nothing weighed her down as she stood steady by the rudder. She was one with the ship, she was unbreakable.

Suddenly, the sensation of solitude disappeared, in its place a feeling of being watched. Nora ignored it, knowing that no one in her crew would cause her harm. But the persistent feeling of eyes glaring at her would not go away. And as she opened her eyes, she felt two strong hands cover her own over the rudder. Nora gasped, trying to pull free, as she recognized those hands. She wanted to scream, but one of the hands quickly covered her mouth. For a few seconds, they stood like that, Nora with those hands grabbing her tightly, the disgust rising in her like the tide. She breathed heavily, the coarse hand almost covering the entire lower half of her face, making it hard to draw breath. Nora felt paralyzed, not knowing what to do. She hated it. Studying the hand held over hers, she saw those familiar fingers, the dirt under the nails. The hint of black inked skin under the sleeves of the shirt. Panic started to set in, and Nora did the only thing she could think of. With one hand over hers and the other over her mouth, Nora was free enough to throw her elbow back hard, hitting dense muscle behind her. A grunt was heard, but the hands wouldn't move, still trapping her against the rudder with the force of a strong torso, pushing her up against the wood. A low laugh was heard in her ear, a gust of warm breath ran down her neck.

"Don't be like that, love", the familiar voice of James whispered in her ear. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

Nora screamed as she woke up. She got up so quickly that she hit her head, but she paid the pain no mind. Running to her desk, she grabbed a knife, scanning the room. Her breath was hard, her heart pounding against her ribs in such a pace it threatened to break them. Her cabin was dark, the candles burned out. She searched every shadow, every possible hiding place. But there was no one there. She was alone. It had been a dream. Letting go of the knife, hearing the thud as it fell to the floor, Nora glanced down at her hands. It had all felt so real, like she could still feel the touch of him on her, still hear the low rumble of a laugh, how his body moved, his lips against her ear as he spoke.

"It was just a dream", she whispered to herself as she sat down on her bed, feeling the sheets drenched in sweat. It had been a while since she'd had any nightmares, a while since she'd woken up in the middle of the night screaming at the top of her lungs. James Haddock had been chased away from her dreams, and he hadn't dared to come back. Until tonight. Nora knew that it could be nothing but a bad omen.