Silver Threads ↠ Matthew Fairchild [1]

ELEVEN

It was only a moment of Willa just sitting by his side and holding his hand before Thomas broke and let out a soft sob. His face contorted with pain, tears freely falling as he brought their intertwined hands up to his face and leaned against it.

The Herondale girl's heart broke at the sight and she was just about to wrap her arms around him when he said something that made her freeze.

"It's all my fault."

"What?" Willa questioned, her voice barely above a whisper as she looked towards Thomas as if he had grown two heads.

"It's all my fault," Thomas repeated. "Barbara—" His voice cracked and he has to take in a shaky breath as more tears fell. "Barbara's dead because of me."

"Tom, what are you talking about? This isn't your fault," Willa insisted, but he merely shook his head and let go of her hand in order to let bury his face into his hands.

"But it is. I wasn't there when she needed me. I wasn't fast enough with finding a cure. Instead, I was too busy fighting demons and chasing James around London. I should've been looking for a cure. I should've been by her side," Thomas muttered.

He let his tear filled eyes glance in her direction and Willa had never seen him look as pained as he did in that moment as he whispered, "I should've been there, Willy."

"Tom," Willa said, but Thomas was already looking away.

"There's no use trying to tell me it's not my fault. You can't convince me otherwise. Barbara was my sister and I didn't even do anything to help," Thomas muttered, wincing as soon as he realized he had said 'was' instead of 'is.'

"Thomas Lightwood!" Willa exclaimed, pushing herself up off the bed so that she now stood before her friend. Thomas couldn't help but blink in surprise at her sudden outburst, his eyes staring up at her while she looked at him with a mixture of anger and sadness.

"Don't you dare say those words ever again!" Willa yelled, tears of her own filling her eyes as she looked at the boy. "I will not sit here and listen to you put the blame upon yourself when none of this is your fault!"

Thomas' gaze flickered to the floor and Willa softened a bit and was quick to fall onto her knees in front of the boy, her hands reaching out to grab ahold of his own as she looked up at him. "You weren't the one who sent those demons and you weren't the one who was in charge of healing your sister. You are the most selfless and caring person I know, so don't talk as if you are not," Willa said.

"I know you are hurting and even when you are wanting to put the blame on someone, you still put it upon yourself rather than someone else because that's just the type of person you are. To be honest with you, Tom, you and I both know that Barbara wouldn't want this. She wouldn't want you moping around and blaming yourself over something you could not prevent," Willa whispered.

Thomas was silent for a long while before his body began to shake, tears falling down his cheeks as he whispered out, "It hurts, Willy."

Willa was there to catch him as he broke down, his hands holding onto her tightly as if he would fall apart without her and his face burying itself against her shoulder as sobs racked his body.

Willa held him close, her head leaning against his own while one hand held onto the back of his head and the other stroked up and down his back. Thomas became a broken mess under her touch, but she would be the one to help him put himself back together again just like he had been the one to help her all those years ago at the Academy.