𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘦 » 𝘻𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺|𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 ✓

eighty six

"wh- i-" harry gulps, he didn't know how to react. what is going on? harry's head is spinning.

"it's okay if you still don't. i can tell him to leave." anne says when harry doesn't answer. harry swallows thickly. he gives it a lot of thought. at first he hadn't wanted to see ben. just the thought of it scared him because he wouldn't even know what to say to him or how he'd react, or what ben might say to him. their last conversation was still burned into the back of harry's head. harry sucks in a shaky breath, before exhaling, his ribs aching and contracting as he did so.

"i-" harry pauses, swallowing a lump forming in his throat. "i-i will talk to him.." he says before he can stop himself.

"are you sure? you don't have to change your mind." harry sighs, nodding.

"j-just send him in." harry says. anne gives him one note look before nodding, and walking back over to the door. harry sucks in a breath, his heart starting to race and everyone can tell because the heart monitor accelerates. kendall looks at her friend, firmly squeezing his arm for comfort. anne opens the door and steps out slightly, speaking in a hushed tone. then she opens the door wider, and in steps ben. harry tried to keep calm as he slowly makes his way over to harry. kendall stands up, awkwardly.

"guess i'll give you some uh, privacy." she says. harry nods slowly, not saying anything as he eyes kendall and his mum exit the room, shutting the door behind them. then he chews on his lip as he watches ben move over to take the spot kendall was in before, sitting down in the chair next to the bed. there's an awkward silence at first with the clear tension in the air, but thankfully ben manned up and decided to speak first and break it.

"i'm happy to see that you're okay." he says, his eyes raking over harry's body, taking in his appearance, all the wires hooked up to him, the cast on his hand and the brace around his neck. harry feels extremely self conscious with ben staring at him like that, his fingers becoming a little fidgety in nervousness. he really didn't know what to say to him, so he just hums in response. his eyes everywhere but on ben, he couldn't bring himself look him in his eyes. ben clears his throat, "i just wanted to see how you were doing, had me a little worried when i heard about what happened."

"okay." harry muttered almost inaudible, looking away from him. ben sighs.

"i know we didn't end things on great terms and you didn't want to see me but, i was just really worried about you, i needed to come see you and how you're holding up." ben tells him. harry sucks in a breath.

"i didn't think you'd care.." harry mutters, trailing off. ben shakes his head.

"harry, just because we're broken up doesn't mean i just stop caring about you, i'll always care about you."

"and it took for me to almost die for you to talk to me." harry snaps suddenly. blame it on the pregnancy hormones, his mood was prone to changing suddenly at any given second. ben was slightly taken aback, but he wasn't at all surprised that harry would feel that way. after all ben had avoided any and all contact with harry since the day he walked out on him, even when harry called constantly, texted him so many times.

"harry, i'm sorry. i just needed time, you wouldn't give that to me." he says. harry laughs softly.

"yeah, blame it on me. it's okay i know everything is my fault." harry says softly, rather calm.

"i'm not trying to blame it on you harry, i'm just saying that i needed some space. you know, i was hurt too. that was the hardest decision i've ever had to make in my life, it wasn't easy for me."

"it seemed pretty easy to me.."

"it wasn't, i didn't just wake up one morning and decide to leave. it's been on my mind way before then." ben says. harry laughs humorously.

"oh, so you've been planning to leave me the whole time and decided to just lead me on and let me believe you loved me. nice to know." harry nods. ben can tell that harry's hurting and that he's trying to hold in his anger, and he felt so bad. he remembers the day he broke off their engagement, how hysterical harry had been, and all the sleepless nights he faced. listening to harry's voicemails over and over again. it wasn't even that long ago, but it felt like years sense that happened and he feels like he hasn't seen harry in so long. seeing him now brings back so many feelings and emotions.

"that's not what i'm saying, what i'm saying if, i felt as though our love for one another was fading away."

harry is about to explode.

"you were wrong. you were so wrong. how can you say that? how could you not see how gone i was for you? we were together since i started college, i was practically still a teenager. we were together for a little over five years. i did everything i could to please you, i loved you unconditionally even when my friends were telling me you were too old for me and it wouldn't work out. i did everything for you, i stayed loyal to you, i poured my heart out for you. being with you were some of the best days of my life. what made you think my love for you was dying? was i not good enough for you? did i not satisfy your sexual needs? what did i do something wrong? or did you just use me because i was young and naive, and you just wanted a pretty face to brag about and when you couldn't use me anymore you just throw me away?!" harry rants and raves on. by the time he is done talking, there are hot tears streaming down his face, cheeks are flush. ben is shocked by harry's outburst. he had not expected for harry to feel as he did, but now that he knows, it cut deeper.

"harry, that's not what it was, i never used you, i never took you for granted. i was in love with you, i loved you, i really did love you. we went through so much together, my feelings for you were real, you weren't just some toy to me, don't ever think that. our relationship wasn't perfect, but my feelings for you were real, i loved you with all my heart, i-" ben stops, sharply cutting himself off for a second. he was staring deeply into harry's troubled eyes, every emotion he could think of passing through them. he subconsciously extends his hand which then rests against harry's wet cheek. "i still love you."

"don't say that." harry whispers.

"i mean it."

"ben please." harry murmurs. he doesn't want this. things were already complicated enough, he doesn't need ben added into the equation. the damage was already done, the hurt was already felt. harry doesn't need those feelings to resurface, for god sake why did he have to come here? ben sighs deeply pulling his hand away from harry's cheek, to instead grab his hand.

"harry, i just want to see if th-" he is cut off by the door opening up. both his and harry's heads turn towards the noise. harry's eyes fall upon zayn stepping into the room. his face is blank as he stands there near the door, eyeing the two of them. zayn crosses his arms after he shuts the door behind him.

"hey."

~

predictions?