A Heart Unbroken [Book One]

Confessions ~ Louis

The truth is, they never caused me any physical pain. Somehow, though, they knew everything that ever went through my head. They took my happy memories and they twisted them with their lies. They confirmed every horrible thing I ever thought about others. The worst part was that I knew they were lying to me, but I just kept listening. Some of the things they told me about myself made me think about my life, and what was really happening in it...and I hated them for that.

Marshall let out a couple coughs, and I tried to remember the last time he took his pills. When we arrived in town, he had taken them that morning. But the guards had discovered us when we were trying to get the alcohol. They took us here on our second day in captivity, but I didn't know how long we'd been in this cabin. I had been knocked out, like Meghan said.

"Louis?" Marshall whispered. I buried my face farther between my knees. "Louis, I think you need to talk about this."

"No! I don't want to talk about it!" I yelled, standing up and looking him in the eye. "And I don't have to talk about it!"

"Calm down, Louis," Meghan said in a hushed voice. "They might come in-"

But it was too late. Two of them had already heard my shouting and were stepping into the cabin. Instead of looking at me, they were looking at Marshall.

"Silver haired boy!" one of them called. That was the scariest one; she had a scar over her lip that pulled it up into a sneer. "Come."

He obeyed, hanging his head and approaching her timidly. "Yes?"

"Are you bothering the young one over there? She seems distressed," said the other, who was significantly bigger than the first woman.

"No, not at all, Ma'am," Meghan interjected before Marshall could speak.

"You have not been spoken to, Child!" cried the scarier one. Meghan hung her head while the women turned their attention back to Marshall.

"Well? Are you?"

"No, no I'm not! She just said-"

"It was my fault," I cut in. "He was trying to speak to me and I lost my patience. That's why she looks distressed."

"So it was him?" the big one roared.

Meghan and I began to shout that that's not what I said, while Marshall was led out quietly. I kicked at the big one, who was holding me back, and yelled at the scary one to stop. I implored Marshall to fight back, but he wouldn't. He wouldn't protect himself.

I was thrown back into the room, toppling over Meghan. I stood up and hit the door as hard as I could, yelling at them to leave him alone, but it was no use. In frustration, I kicked the door, but it didn't make me feel any better.

"Louis, stop. You're only straining yourself. Please calm down."

"He's out there because of what I said, Meghan! I can't calm down! How can he just-"

The crack of a whip pierced the silence outside, followed by an exclamation of pain. Meghan and I stared at each other, waiting for a second one to follow, but instead the door of the cabin squeaked open and Marshall was shoved back inside.

Meekly, he whispered, "It stings," before collapsing onto the ground in a fit of coughing. We helped him to a corner, where Meghan pulled her shirt off and let him use it as a pillow. She had a tank top underneath.

He was asleep quickly, and somehow, it was peaceful. I stared at him, and then looked up at Meghan.

"How could he just let them do that to him? Why didn't he fight back?"

She smiled sadly at me. "His father died at their hands. He wants to save his energy for the real problem."

"Which is...?"

"The Empress, Louis. He wants to be there to watch her die."

"How do you know all this?"

"When they took you, we talked about what we'd do when we saw the Empress. He has a lot of anger, Louis, like you."

"I want her dead, Meghan, before she can take anymore from any of us."

She sighed and we sat in silence. Marshall slept soundly through the night, but Meghan and I tossed and turned.

The next morning, I asked Meghan if she had any regrets. She looked at me, surprised.

"Of course I do," she said slowly. "Why?"

"I just...yesterday got me thinking - well, I've been thinking about it for awhile but-"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I bit my lip and suppressed the urge to cry. "Probably," I squeaked.

"What did they do to you, Louis?"

"They...they, uh," I hesitated. But with a deep breath, I told her that they knew what I thought of my sister, and proceeded to tell me every horrible thing I had ever thought about her.

"How could they have known all those things?"

"I don't know, Meghan, but it made me start thinking about how I agreed with Crystalnils. You know, when she was talking about how annoying Nightshade is?" She nodded. "Crystalnils hates Nightshade more than anything else in the world. Do I hate Lilly?"

She was quiet for a minute as tears were silently streaming down my face. "I think you're the only one who can decide that, but I also know you love her and would-"

"I don't know if I do...I've thought about who I would pick if it came down her or one of you four, or even myself...and I didn't pick her, Meghan."

"I know she's hard to live with, Louis, but I know she'd do anything for you."

"No she wouldn't. Since we met all of you, she actually tries to make your lives easier. I can tell."

She scoffed. "Louis, I'm going to tell you this straight up, and I don't want an argument. Your sister loves you; she just doesn't know it yet."

She didn't understand how I felt. Hanan was my only family, because Lilly didn't act like a sister should. So, instead of arguing pointlessly, I asked her what her biggest regret was.

With a sad smile, she said, "Being such a lousy daughter to my parents. I didn't realize what I had until it was gone, and then I took out my anger towards myself, on what I had left. My mom probably hates me."

"She doesn't hate you, Meghan. You are literally the most lovable person I know."

"But I'm not real," she smiled. "I like to hide behind a facade, and pretend I'm something I'm not."

"What do you-"

"Remember when I jumped into the lake to save Cam? And you guys thought I was actually brave?" I nodded. "I was showing off, Louis. For Hanan. I mean, if Hanan wasn't there, I might have been too petrified to move."

"But you still saved Cam..."

"It doesn't matter. Either way, I'm still the selfish brat I was when I joined in with you guys."

She looked at Marshall, who was napping. He had grown weaker overnight, and now it looked like he was on a fast decline without his medication. After he had a small coughing fit and she wiped the blood off of his mouth with her sleeve, she looked back at me with a gleam in her eyes.

"But that's going to change...I promise you."

"What does that mean, Megs?"

"It means I'm getting us out of here."