Top Bunk

DAY 11

"So what should I do?" The harshness is slowly turning into rage. "Go back home? Abandon Camp Ashwood - which, by the way, you pushed me into going to in the first place? How about college, mom?"

El does this. Asks multiple questions in a row when she isn't sure what's happening. Expects answers to every one of them. (She usually doesn't get the answers.)

"I just want to explain - "

"Then explain!" El squeaks. "Here. And where's dad? Doesn't he have to explain, too?"

Questions, questions.

"He's not here."

El nearly falls off the toilet, but keeps her balance by holding onto the cold lid. "W-what?"

"H-he left..." And her mother's crying again. Great. "Your dad left, El...please please just let me explain."

El hums in a convincing fine go I may or may not be listening but fuck you way.

Her mother swallows. "How do I...okay. Uh, I'm sure you're aware that your dad and I have been fighting well, since, we started dating actually. But we'd always make up, right?" she pauses as if she wants El to reply; El doesn't. "And I guess you couldn't blame him. We were both tired. So I don't see why you'd blame him. For doing...what he did. What he did. Ha."

"What did he do?" El is almost afraid to ask.

"Your dad, he got - got involved with someone else. He cheated on me." More crying. Wailing.

"Why?"

"Revenge, I guess?"

"Revenge?"

"Well, I...I cheated on him, too. You're not his, El. I - "

"You what?"

"Look, I'm sorry - "

"You already told me that."

"Because I am! I really am! I regret it so much. I'm sorry you had to - "

El's mouth is running on its own now. "Is this why...why I'm..."

"Black?"

El swallows. "Black."

"I didn't mean - "

"That's a yes, then."

"Leave it, El, we're talking about now. What's just happened."

"Okay, tell me, mom. What just happened?"

"He cheated on me," El's mother repeats. "I knew for awhile now, El, and I tried to forgive him but I couldn't and I'm just - I'm so so so so sorry. He's made it so hard. He left, honey. He left and he didn't tell me where he was going and here I am again, assuming the worst. But I can't help it. I can't...I can't I'm sorry, El. I'm sure he's sorry, too."

"So am I."

"El - "

"Thanks for letting me know."

"Are you sure you don't want to come home?"

"Yes."

"Please, please talk to me. Open up."

"No thanks. I have to go."

"Elizabeth..."

"Bye." End call.

And El finally cries.

⌚ 6:00 AM ON THE DOT

The girl in the mirror isn't El. El has fiery brown eyes. The girl in the mirror has swollen, blank, red eyes. El would at least try to keep her hair in control. The girl in the mirror has a wet bird's nest on top of her head. El has warm, dark skin. The girl in the mirror is pale as a manila envelope. El's mouth has to be in a constant unamused smirk. The girl in the mirror's mouth is raw, after having been bitten throughout the entire morning.