Is this really my life?

that feeling....

Kate's pov

Now that Alex and I were friends I started to feel more confident in myself. I started dressing a little more like a girl and now I was wearing makeup everyday. I was getting a lot better at it too. Ryan of course couldn't get enough of me we spent all our time together and I even got closer with him then to Alex. I could feel myself starting to have feelings for Ryan but I couldn't help but think that if I had feelings I would lose him like I did Jay, so I kept them to myself. We talked all day at school whenever we could and then we both rushed home to talk on the phone. My life at home got easier having Ryan. He would talk to me while I cleaned the house from top to bottom, this was everyday for me because my mom was extremely lazy. She hadn't washed a dish since I was big enough to reach the sink and the same was for cooking as well. I was a pretty good cook too. For this I guess I was grateful to her and knew one day I would make a hell of a mom and wife. Ryan and I talked till my mom got home laughing the whole time and it had gotten to the point where I knew just about everything about him. I rushed off the phone when she walked in the door because I knew I had to feed my sister's and my brother.

My brother and I are four years apart in age and deep down I resented him. I didn't mean to but when my mom had him, I had to raise him. I was four years old changing a babies diaper. Even tho I had those feelings I still loved my brother with all my heart. As far as my sister's they had a different dad then me and were treated like royalty, but the love I had for them was undeniable. They were my world, I would do anything for them and I did. I changed every diaper. I gave them every bath. I made sure to comb there hair for them every night and most nights they slept in bed with me. It was if they were my own daughters even though I was still a kid myself.

The next day I went to school once again with a smile on my face. I ran into my friend Daniel in the hall way. I had known him since my 8th grade year. I still remember the day I met him as if it was yesterday....

I was sitting in the gym waiting for what the plan was for the day. I was listening to a guy talking to the pe teacher and she was telling him how great he looked. She couldn't believe how much weight he lost. I looked over confused thinking that he was still pretty big. I had never seen him before so I knew he wasn't the type to be around my crowd. I leaned over and asked my friend what his name was. She told me his name was Daniel. That day I rushed home to get my yearbook and look him up. When I got to him I realized why the teacher had made the comments he had probably lost 30 lbs over the summer. I went to school the next day and couldn't help but be intrigued. I decided I wanted to be friends with him. Him and two other guys were playing basketball. I love basketball, even tho I am not even 5 ft. I was actually pretty good. I walked up and asked to play. They of course said sure. From that moment on we were all friends and Daniel and I became extremely close.

I greeted him with the biggest smile I could. I had a little crush on him but I didn't think he noticed. We talked for a few minutes and then he walked me to class. He leaned down and kissed my cheek and I totally almost tripped over my feet when I tried to walk. I have never been so embarrassed and I am sure my cheeks were the color of strawberries. I went into class kicking myself for not being coordinated. After that day we started to hang out a lot more. He became close with my family. My grandma loved him. He has the most beautiful caramel skin with light green eyes and the longest eyelashes that I have ever seen on a man. When he looked at me it completely took my breath away. He was unbelievably sweet to me always. He was the first guy that ever made me feel attractive. When he looked at me now I could see that he wanted me. My grandma finally asked me one day if I wanted to bring him to the cabin with me. The cabin was another safe place for me. Anytime I was with my grandma I was safe. I was so hesitant about asking him because I feared the rejection. The next day when I went to school he was waiting for me at the front gate with a smile on his face. He just looked at me and said "good morning beautiful". I blushed like crazy upon hearing that and simply told him good morning. He walked me to my first class and I was about to ask him to come to the cabin and I chickened out. Ugh why was I so scared? I thought in my head. Right then Alex popped in my head telling me to go for it don't be scared use my backbone. When Daniel came to get me from class I wrapped my arm through his and smiled. He looked at me confused and asked " why are you smiling like that?" I finally built up the courage by this point and asked if he had plans for the weekend. He of course didn't who really did in their sophomore year. So I proceeded to tell him that we had a family cabin and my grandma and I were wondering if he would like to come. I felt like it was hours before he answered even though it was probably only seconds. He smiled so beautiful at me and said "I would love to let me check with my mom she will want to meet you and your grandma." At that moment in time I couldn't be happier. We were not dating like I wanted to but I felt like this was a step in the right direction. I couldn't wait for the weekend to come. The week drug out forever. We were leaving Friday night so Thursday after school I rode home with him his piece of crap truck that he loved. When I met his mom I was terrified. I knew what my mom was like and I just hoped his mom wasn't like that. To my surprise she was one of the sweetest women I had ever met and I could tell right away how much she loved her son. After we talked for an hour or so she followed us to my grandma's house. To my surprise Daniel jumped out fast and came to open my door. When I stepped out he grabbed my hand and locked our fingers together. He had never done that and I got the most amazing butterflies in my stomach. He smiled at me and brought my hand up and kissed it, then proceeded to take me into the house. His mom and my grandma talked for another hour while we sat cuddled on the couch. It went really well and his mom agreed to let him come for the weekend. I walked Daniel out to his truck and was about to say goodbye when he said "hey would it be okay if I picked you up for school tomorrow?" I blushed and said of course and couldn't help but wonder if he knew he was the reason I had strawberry red cheeks. I kissed his cheek sweetly and told him to drive safe and to call me when he got home.

I hope you like the story so far. There is a lot of characters I know and they will all make sense.

Can you guess what will happen over the weekend?

Is Kate really in love at only 15?