Walking in the Wind (Valdemora Series #2)

Chapter 16

"You know what? I envy you for having a complete family," he rested his back on his chair and gave me his attention. He broke the deafening silence by that. "You have a mother and a father which prohibits you for some things. Alam mo bang minsan ko na ring hiniling na pagbawalan sa isang bagay? Weird but I wanted to feel it especially from my father. Gusto ko ring maranasang sigawan o pagalitan dahil nalasing ako o dahil sa mga kabulastugan ko."

Tahimik akong nakinig sa kwento niya. Somehow, he's stealing my attention to not think about what happened earlier or what may happen.

"You are lucky enough to have a father on your side. Ako? I experienced celebrating both mother's and father's day with just my mom. My mom attended family days with just her presence, representing my father to just let me feel of having a family."

"Dati ay naiinggit ako kasi bakit iyong iba kumpleto, samantalang ako may iisang kulang. My mom's not evil to be left behind. Hindi naman niya deserve maiwanan habang buntis. Pakiramdam ko nga ay hindi minahal ng tatay ko ang nanay ko. He's such an asshole."

He laughed a bit on that. He told me a little detail before but I think, knowing the other parts of the story is more painful. Masakit na iyong una kong narinig pero mas masakit iyong isinawalat niya sa akin ngayon.

I feel sorry for him, for the life that he experienced with missing puzzles that needs to be filled.

This side of him that he's showing to me now is far different from all the behaviors that has seen by people. Ibang-iba sa mga bersyon na nakikita ng mga tao sa kanya.

Who would have thought that the man who's dating a lot of girls is hiding something behind his mask?

Maaaring masaya iyong panlabas na katauhan niya pero sa likod niyon ay ang lungkot at sakit na kanyang kinikimkim. Too easy to hide all of it these days. Kaya nang magpanggap.

"I won't copy my father's steps if I will be having a family in the future. Ayokong maranasan ng magiging anak ko na walang tatay sa tabi niya. Ayokong mang-iwan ng taong mahal ko."

He drank the water beside him and sighed. Parang nailabas niya iyong lahat ng kanyang sama ng loob sa akin. I pity him.

Mayaman, kayang bilhin lahat pero sadyang napakalaking kulang sa buhay niya ang kawalan ng tatay.

Money can't really fulfill all the happiness that you need. Maaaring marami kang mabili gamit ang pera pero iba iyong pagkukulang kapag pamilya ang pinag-uusapan.

"You can be a good father. I can see it from you," sabi ko, dahilan ng pagseseryoso niya. Ramdam ko iyong sinseridad niya noong sinabi niya ang huling mga salita.

Ayaw niyang mang-iwan ng taong mahal niya. Ayaw niyang sa huli ay siya ang magiging dahilan ng pagkukulang. And I think that's the best words I've heard from someone who never experienced having a complete family.

"Just making you feel better. Pasensya na kung iyon pa ang ikinuwento ko sa'yo. Wala akong maisip, eh. And I want to be open with you. I guess it is okay telling you my life?"

"Tsk. Okay na. Saka wala naman na akong takas sa sermon ni Papa sa akin mamaya. Thank you kasi kahit papaano ay medyo gumaan ang loob ko."

"Harapin ko kaya Papa mo? Baka sakaling magustuhan ako."

Umiling kaagad ako. Walang interes si Papa kung gwapo o may kaya ito. Ang gusto niya lang ay masunod ko ang patakaran niya. At baka mabaril pa siya ng wala sa oras. I'm being serious here. Ayokong mangyari iyon.

"No. You don't know him that much."

Tumango na lang ito sa sinabi ko. I can't let him do that for me. Sa huli ay baka may magawa pa si Papa sa kanya.