you don't know me | jaeden martell

chapter 43.

"I'm fine, just overwhelmed" I replied, pressing the heels of my hands to my eyes, maybe a little too harshly, trying not to let more tears out.

"Hey," Jaeden said softly, glancing over at me and grabbing one of my hands. "Ty it's okay not to be okay, you know that right?"

I shrugged, because, no, I didn't really know that.

I'm supposed to be okay, I am okay.

Jaeden shook his head from beside me as he rubbed my back soothingly. I glanced over at the taller boy before rubbing my eyes with the hand that Jaeden wasn't holding, feeling like a toddler.

"Tyler" Jaeden said softly. His voice held so much emotion, it sounded like he actually cared for me, and that made it much harder to stop crying.

A couple more tears tumbled down my cheeks as I took a few shuddering breaths. We sat in silence as Jaeden drove home, slightly overcast day not helping at lightening the mood. He pulled into his driveway and let go of my hand as he got out of the car. I grabbed my bag from the floor and opened the door before getting out.

Jaeden stood in front of the car, his arms open. I give him a watery smile before walking into his warm hug.

"S'okay" Jaeden mumbled into my hair. "No matter what happened, I've got you"

"I don't deserve you," I said softly as I tried to blink back more tears. "I'm such a fucking mess. Why do you even put up with this shit"

"Stop," Jaeden said pulling away brought so he could look at me. "Ty, no. Do not say shit like that. Actually. You are not a fucking mess, you are amazing, okay?"

I really really didn't want to fight with him right now. This boy could, without a doubt, find someone one thousand times better than me, prettier than me, not as fucked up as me. A better fucking person than me.

Of course, he could. It's Jaeden.

But. I didn't want to fight.

"Okay" I replied sliding my arms around his waist again.

"Let's go inside and watch a bunch of movies and make some popcorn okay?" Jaeden said, one of his hands running through my hair.

"Yeah," I breathed, smiling softly, genuinely.

"Sounds great"

//

A shiver ripped through my body as I pulled the blanket closer around myself while I watched the movie that was playing on Jaeden's computer. I wasn't paying much attention, my mind coming up with multiple different scenarios of what was going to happen the second I walked into my house.

"Ty," Jaeden said quietly from beside me.

"Yeah" I murmured glancing over at him.

"Com'ere'' he said with a small smile. I happily obliged, shifting over so I could lean my head on his chest, his arms automatically wrapping around me.

His shirt was soft against my cheek as I breathed in the comforting scent of the pretty boy.

Lavender.

My heart seemed to stop beating for a moment as Jaeden gently ran his hand through my hair, delicately twisting a few strands between his fingers.

It hurt, knowing Jaeden didn't see me as anything more than a friend, especially since I couldn't seem to go a day without him.

I knew he didn't want anything more than what we had right now, since he was the one to suggest that we just forget about the new year's kiss. I was honestly scared of how much I liked him, I had never felt anything remotely close to this before.