Chapter Sixty-six

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Her chest grew warm and her heart swelled, making the she-cat feel bittersweet. The two kits who overwhelmed Flaxpaw with questions reminded her that she too wanted kits. Swiftblossom longed to feel tiny bundles of fur pressed up against her teat, to smell warm milk, and for her chest to be overwhelmed with happiness as she watched them grow. But she knew she had to wait until the end of this upcoming war; to have kits now would be dangerous and she would be too occupied to help her clan. My destiny is to create peace between the rogues and the clans. That thought remained in her head, and it clawed at her stomach. What if she would never get to have kits? What if this war would sweep her with it and she would die? It was morbid to think so early but it couldn't be pushed away. Swiftblossom had to face reality; there was a chance that she will die and never mother kits. 

Finally, Swiftblossom was able to come up with a topic to talk to Hawk about. Without turning her head, the pretty calico meowed, "Your daughters are so curious about the world. They'll be fine warriors one day." Hawk replied gently, "They will be amazing warriors, their energy will surely encourage and inspire others to be like them." The tom was very proud of his daughters and it eased the burden of Swiftblossom's morbid thoughts off of her chest. She pressed on, "They don't seem to take after you. Do they take after their mother?" Swiftblossom made sure her voice was gentle and that it was quiet, in case Hawk felt insecure talking about the subject. The she-cat braced herself, for she didn't know if he would lash out at her or not. 

"If you wanted to know about me, you should've told me straight up, not honey up your words," Hawk sharply meowed, making the warrior's fur stand up. She turned to him and quickly meowed, her tail bushed up in surprise, "I'm so sorry! I just didn't know how to..." Swiftblossom trailed off once she noticed how much more vulnerable Hawk made himself to her. Instead of sitting up straight, he was hunched over, his head hanging low between his shoulders. The calico's ears gently lowered unto her head and she watched him, waiting for him to speak.

Hawk glanced over at the she-cat, his amber eyes showing fatigue and guilt. His ears flattened against his head and his whiskers drooped. Secretly, the brown tom was envious of Swiftblossom. The calico had this innocence that hung around her like a cloud and it radiated off positive and reassuring energy. Her amber eyes glow as if she has never seen or felt pain like he has. Swiftblossom was the cat that he wanted to be; free from pain and internal suffering. Though, the tom wasn't sure if her outward appearance showed how much she had really gone through; either she never experienced pain or she could hide it well. Hawk wished he could be like her and to live without guilt constantly clawing at his stomach. He wanted to stand up straight as she did, to have the same liveliness in his eyes, and to have that warm tone in his voice as she could always pull off. He had so many wants that Swiftblossom wielded; it made him think-- if Swiftblossom had this purity and positivity, just how dangerous is she really? When she is angry, how does she act? It made him shudder at how this kind she-cat was hidden jeopardy.

"Nectar and I were a part of Ash's entrusted party, which was consisted of me and a select few of cats. He called us his Shadows, and we had power over Ash's clan. We were his second in commands, his elite bodyguards, and we would carry out his deeds. Every cat in the Shadows was highly skilled in murder and we were feared. We were so important that Ash would give each of us a different name; it was a method to show his clan that we were special. Those in the Shadows, since we were selected by Ash, we nearly had as much power as Ash, so much that we could even lead parties. We were the first ones to engage in battle, the first to enact on the secret missions, and the very first to be trusted by him.

"When Ash schemed about taking over the Clans, there was a large debate between the Shadows if we should. Fighting broke out, but eventually, the majority agreed to take over the Clans. Ash used the history of the clans to persuade many Shadows to take action and it worked. Nectar and I were part of a few who voted not to harm the clans; we knew that the Clans were dangerous. I spoke out against Ash, trying to get the Shadows to understand where I came from... but, Ash wasn't enlightened to hear that. My attempt failed and I was shamed for being so soft-hearted. I was removed from the Shadows for a short period and shunned.

"I endured verbal and physical abuse from the other Shadows but I still wouldn't agree to their grand scheme. The only Shadow that didn't harm me was Nectar. Because I refused to be a part of the Shadows, Ash murdered my former mate and our sons," Hawk took a moment to himself then continued, "He said that they made me weak and I had to rejoin so he wouldn't kill my daughters. I became a prime example to always listen to Ash.

"Two moons later, Ash led a party to attack your clan, Nectar told me that she had a plan to stop Ash. She wanted me to bring Gold and my daughters to the clans as well before Gold delivered kits. I agreed, so we faked our deaths with a look-alike nightshade and left. When Nectar told me about you, I was hesitant to trust you, but now... you have become my only hope to give my daughters and my unborn kits a life away from Ash." Hawk finished, his eyes settled unto Swiftblossom's. The calico was frozen with shock at how Ash really was. If he can kill kits, then he can kill almost anyone. It made her angry and the claws at her stomach dig deeper. Never before did she ever feel that she wanted to kill someone so badly, to feel her claws swipe away Ash's life. As much as her good morality spoke out against it, her mind swirled with the thought of relieving his world of Ash.

After gathering her thoughts, Swiftblossom meowed, "I'm sorry you went through all of that. You're forced to carry the lives of your former mate and sons on your shoulders... I'm sorry, Hawk."

"It's fine. As soon as his body grows cold and his blue eyes rid of life, I feel that I have avenged the deaths of so many innocent lives." Hawk confided in Swiftblossom. He then sat up straight and lifted his head. Swiftblossom extended her tail and cautiously rested the tip on his shoulder. 

"Hawk..."

"If you're going to advise me not to live off of hellbent revenge, then you're wrong--"

"No, I wasn't going to say that. I wanted to tell you that you're another cat that encourages me to stop this war. But I also look up at you. You've been through so much that you might even question if you still have an ounce of love or mercy left. Yet... you've done all of those things for your daughters. That's admirable, Hawk." Once Swiftblossom finished her sentence, the she-cat was given a gentle touch of Hawk's nose against her forehead. She blinked, unsure of how to feel about it, and the tom told her, "You remind me of my youngest son, Argent. He was always the one who looked on the bright side... you have his eyes."

Swiftblossom shyly looked away, but her curiosity pricked at her mind. Without hesitation, the calico warrior asked Hawk, "What was your and Nectar's names as Shadows?" 

Hawk closed his eyes and inhaled sharply, "Nectar was Sphynx, and I was Scorpion."

Honestly, Swiftblossom didn't know what those names meant. She did know that those names were powerful. If Nectar and Hawk were Shadows, that means that they know how to kill swiftly and effortlessly. A part of me wants to learn from them, another part says to never learn their ways. Am I scared to turn into them once the war begins? Or am I scared that I'll be too soft-hearted?

She wanted to know the names of his dead sons and former mate, but she chose not to ask.

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Hey guys! It's been forever since I uploaded so I brought you guys a very long chapter with Hawk and some of Nectar's backstories into it. I would like to address some important things:

1. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 10K READS! This is such an important milestone for us, especially for me. I've always loved Warriors ever since 5th grade and I always thought of writing my own stories. At first, I never thought my story would be so popular, but then the unthinkable happen. It felt just like yesterday that I began to write Swiftstar's Prophecy... Thank you all so much for your support!

2. Okay, yes, there will be a whole series, just you wait.

3. Flaxpaw is an excited squirrel.

4. Hawk considers Swiftblossom like his daughter. Or...something along the lines of that.

If you guys have any questions, feel free to comment below! I plan on releasing another Q&A in the future and I would like to answer your questions.

-Morgan

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