"What was her fault if all she went to do was feed Di her food Mami? She cared for her! When she herself was hurting terrible she went to apply medicine on another person's wound. And you know what i did?" He chuckled mirthlessly.
"I called her the biggest mistake of my life! When she was the biggest and probably the only blessing of my life! Mami your hate blinded me! Your hate and my love for Di overshadowed the I had love for my wife!! She was tormented too! She was tortured mentally by Shyam! She was his first victim and the only person she thought of was your Anjali Bitiya. Her nights and days were snatched in thinking a way to break the news to Di in a way it would hurt less. What was her fault if.." He continued in a broken voice.
"If I was kidnapped and she eventually had to reveal his true face. Was it wrong that she put her own life in danger to save the son of this house from his clutches?"
He breathed in deeply. Wiping his tears with the back of his hand he continued. "I will tell you her fault." He stated making everyone look up at him in confusion.
"Her fault was that she was a Gupta and not a Raizada. Her fault was that she became a Raizada daughter in law and wasn't the daughter. She was at fault because her parents had died and she was fatefully clutched by a middle class status and wasn't given scope to study further and become independent! It was her fault that she gave up her studies to look after the household and financial conditions of a family who never considered her their own. Only to be called an orphan again. It was her fault that she gave us so much and expected nothing! IT WAS HER FAULT THAT SHE FELL IN LOVE WITH A MONSTER LIKE ME AND EXPECTED BASIC RESPECT FROM ME!" He bellowed through his aching heart and throat.
"No Chotte!" Anjali cried clutching her mouth with her hand to muffle her cries.
"Yes di! It was her fault to ever bump into us Raizadas! We are a bad omen for her" He shook his head.
Gulping head he said. "Why Di? You always lectured me about falling in love. My life would get lit up. My breath would stop. My heart would keep searching for that one person with whom my heartbeats reside. Then why? After I found that one person after so much difficulty, did I lose her? Why? Am I not worth it?" Anjali shook her head frantically unable to form coherent words.
"Then why did you allow all this? How? Was it so difficult to believe your brother over your husband? Di.... your...your chotte was on the brink of death! Khushi brought me back! Are..you not happy? To see me alive?"
He questioned like a 5 year old.
For the first time his sister's crying face did not affect him. He didn't have the heart to console her. How can he? When his heart was not even with him.
"You tried to hurt yourself Di and who did you kill? You killed my Khushi! My Khushi who was always suffering. Because of me. Because of every member in this house. Because of her own so called family. You simply fuelled her death! My marriage! My life! My happiness! Everything I live for! YOU ALL BURNT IT ALIVE! ALL OF YOU!" He yelled while slumping onto the floor.
"No!no.. Chotte.."Anjali sat next to him trying to hold his hysterical form in her embrace. Guilt clawed her internally.
She knew her brother and understood him better than anyone and yet, she abandoned him completely!
She had failed.
"NO! DON'T.... Don't touch me! Just dont.." He screamed shocking her to the core. He moved away from her.
"Cho.."
"I'm not your Chotte! You are not my Di! My Di is not selfish!! She was anything but selfish! YOU ARE A SELFISH WOMAN!" He growled at her.
"I...I destroyed my life and Khushi's for YOU! I loved her! Ahd yet..I..I had to pretend I didn't! I had to pretend I HATED her! While you were busy in your own fake bubble with your slime of a husband I was responsible for ruthlessly bursting Khushis and my bubble of finding solace in each other! Your bastard of a husband scarred my whole life and what did you do?? Simply make his work easier! Congratulations!!! You killed your Chotte! Successfully! You know what,.. Khushi wasn't the other woman in your life! You! You are the other woman in my life! You destroyed my married life!" He bellowed.
I Need Myself- 2
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