Sink or Swim

Chapter 6

Craig moved towards her and took both of her hands in his. "We'll get there. One step at a time."

"What if this is all I ever get?"

"You can't think like that, Skye. You need to concentrate on getting better. You need to go forwards not backwards."

Skye shook her head. "I don't know if I can do that until I have closure. It isn't that I don't want to I just can't. I don't know how to." There was frustration in her voice.

"Even if it means you can compete again?"

Her head dipped. "I really don't know."

"Well, I'm going to get the kettle on because there's nothing a brew can't fix," Craig joked. "I even got in that camomile stuff you like."

"Even though you think it tastes like grass?"

"Grass mixed with daisies," he agreed. Skye laughed. It was the only thing that seemed to keep her calm. Craig headed over to the kitchen. His apartment wasn't big, it was open plan with the kitchen at the very back of the living room. He had a small balcony at the front of the living room that looked over town. There comfy seat, just about big enough for two, and some blankets on it.

Whilst Craig was making their drinks, Skye gazed over his apartment. She'd never really looked properly before. He had a square Ikea coffee table between the kitchen and living room which hosted various objects. A vase without flowers, a set of coasters, a couple of pens. She lifted the coasters up to get them ready for the drinks but beneath them, there was something else. A whole host of small polaroid photographs. Skye pulled them out one by one, so many of them were photos of Craig and Alana, with a few of Alana that he must have taken. It brought another tear to her eye. How somebody so beautiful, so young, so glamorous could no longer be alive. Maybe her problems weren't as big as she was making them seem.

She turned around suddenly when she felt Craig stood behind her with the mugs in his hands. "Sorry I- I didn't mean to invade your privacy."

"It's alright," he replied simply. He moved to the living room and put the drinks down on a larger coffee table in the centre of the room. Skye moved to sit next to him.

"Cassandra misses her so much. She pretends she doesn't, she hardly ever mentions her but she's been different ever since. I'm sure their adopted siblings do too, but Alana and Cassandra, despite being complete opposites, they were joined at the hip." Craig nodded but still remained silent. "I wish she would talk to you, you could really use each other."

"I don't need to talk to anybody, least of all her." He sounded almost like he was about to choke.

"But I think she does." Skye looked slowly across at Craig to see his clenched jaw. His face showed his grief and she instantly regretted her words. She budged closer to him and put her hands around his arm, holding it tightly. "I'm sorry. I won't mention it again." Still holding onto him as if she was scared he was about to throw her out, Skye rested her forehead on his shoulder. There was silence but it wasn't uncomfortable.

"I need something stronger." Craig came back with various drinks of which he dug into almost immediately. Skye copied his motion, leaving her the remainder of her chamomile tea behind. They drank in silence for some time, but her eyes looked over to check on her friend regularly. In between, her eyes fixated on the television but she couldn't even work out what they were watching. Some nature documentary maybe? It had been on since she'd arrived, back to back episodes. It didn't matter. She couldn't focus.

"I-I," said Craig, eventually, with sadness obvious in his voice. "I like talking about Alana with you. I-I just don't always know how. The words get strangled in my throat and I-"

"You can't get them out," Skye said with a nod, lifting her face to look into his misted-over eyes. "I understand."

"You're important to me, Skye." She felt him move his arm and wrap her hand in his, just like he had when they'd been watching Game of Thrones only this time both of them could feel it happening. "You're the only person who understands me." She must have been in high school the last time she'd got this lost in somebody's eyes. Skye could feel the pace of her breaths increasing even more and her chin lifted further as she noticed him edge closer too. Before either could stop it, the gap between them had dissolved and their lips had crashed against each other.

Taking her lips away for a short interval, Skye stood up on one quick motion. She needed Craig to tell her to go home, that she shouldn't have planted her lips on him. But he didn't. He followed her. His hand pulled on hers, taking her backwards through the hall and into his room. They stood still for a moment, surrounded by pale blue walls, but staring at nothing other than one another. Craig's hand reached over and got lost in Skye's blonde locks. She looked him up and down and then moved onto the bed, taking hold of his shirt, tugging it so that he was on top of her. She wasn't thinking, she wasn't contemplating whether this was a good idea or not and it didn't look like he was either.

All she knew was that her heart were reaching out for something that was missing. The hole in it was trying to find a fix. For that time, the pain had numbed itself and the world had shut down. For those moments, the world was brighter. There was peace.