AM I YOURS? // MATTY HEALY.

Scarlett Healy, has a ring to it.

"I can't stay away from you Alyssa." I told her. Her eyes softened slightly. "I have tried but look where I am now. The second I was alone with my own thoughts I came running to you."

"You shouldn't though." She shook her head.

"I can't help it." I mumbled. She stared back at me, not saying a single word. My brain turned off all of the logic that could possibly stop me from making any mistakes tonight and I leaned in and kissed her. She pulled back quickly and looked at me, unsure.

"Matty we can't." She whispered.

"Just for tonight." I replied. "That's all I'm asking. I won't bring this up again. I won't bother you with it ever again. I just need you tonight." I begged. She closed her eyes and sighed.

She leaned in and kissed me this time, it felt like time stopped. The world went silent and all I could hear was my own heart rattling against my chest. It could be the alcohol but I'd rather believe it was the adrenaline of getting what I wanted from the woman I love. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders and I pulled her onto my lap.

Nothing else mattered to me except for this moment.

"Matty." George said softly. I looked up at him, shaking the memory from my head. He indicated behind me so I turned to look where he was nodding. The midwife approached us slowly but the sight of her made my heart race.

"Matty." She said, I jumped to my feet and ran over to her.

"Is she okay?" I asked quickly.

"She's sedated at the moment." She told me. "You can go in and see the baby now but I need to have a chat with you first."

"Okay." I nodded. "What happened?"

"Alyssa suffers from a heart condition and when put under a lot of stress, such as childbirth her heart struggled to keep up. She went into cardiac arrest." She told me.

"But she's going to be okay, right?" I asked frantically.

"It's early days but she's in the ICU right now. We will keep you updated whenever we know more." I frowned slightly.

"Why wasn't this mentioned when she seen her doctor throughout the pregnancy?" I asked.

"On her file it does say her doctor discussed the risk with her but Alyssa made the choice to continue with the pregnancy." She said softly. "It's a difficult decision to make, especially with the complications lowering her chances of getting pregnant."

"I just don't know what to think." I shook my head.

"It's a stressful thing to go through but you did the best you could in there, you have a beautiful baby girl now and Alyssa is most likely going to be okay, the doctor is still doing a few test and then you can go in and see her but she will be out for at least a few more hours." I nodded.

"Thank you." I said. "Thank you so much, I really appreciate it all."

"It's my job." She smiled politely. "Do you want to go and see your daughter now?"

"Of course." I nodded quickly.

"Come on then."

-

"She's tiny." George said in amazement.

"I know." I nodded in agreement. "I can't believe she's mine."

"Definitely has your nose." He chuckled softly.

"Well I'm hoping you grow into it otherwise I'm sorry." I said down to the sleeping baby in my arms.

"It's more the ears I would be concerned with." He said in a cheeky tone. I glared at him and rolled my eyes. "It's gonna be alright mate."

"I really hope so." I mumbled.

"She's a fighter." He nodded. "That girl has been through Hell and back." He smiled.

"You can say that again." I sighed. "We kissed."

"I'm not even going to pretend that I'm shocked to hear that." He grinned.

"Just before this one popped out, Alyssa was freaking out and I just went for it, I kinda figured that it might distract her enough to calm her down." I said.

"Did she at least kiss you back?" He asked.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Well mate, things are looking up." He smirked.

"That's if she wakes up." I frowned.

"Don't say things like that." He whispered.

"But there's a chance she might not." I felt the sheer panic build up in me again. "You've no idea how terrifying it was George."

"I know." He said softly.

"The second I saw her, I felt this sense of happiness that I've never been able to find in my life before. It was like no high I've ever had. It was better than all of them added together." I half laughed. "She just looked so perfect. I fell in love with her instantly. And then when I held her, I just couldn't stop crying."

"Now who's the baby." He joked.

"I looked up at Alyssa and she had this look on her face, like everything was finally complete in her life. She stared at us with the biggest smile on her face." I told him. "Then I looked down at her again." I nodded to the baby. "And when I looked back up Alyssa wasn't awake anymore. She looked dead if I'm being honest. It was so bittersweet. The happiest moment of my life was ripped away from me within seconds and filled with panic."

"I can't imagine how that felt." George said apologetically.

"I don't know what I would do if I lose her George." I could feel the tears build up in my eyes again. "She's the love of my life. I don't think I'll ever be able to stop loving her. I don't think it's even possible to try at this point."

"She's going to be okay Matty." George said firmly. "She's gonna wake up, meet your daughter and then you'll live happily ever after in some weird house with Allen and this little angel." He looked down at the baby. "Do you guys even have a name for her yet?"

"Scarlett." I said softly. "That was the name Alyssa and I both liked the most."

"Oh my God, we can call her Scar." George's eyes lit up.

"That's what I said but Alyssa said we're not allowed to nickname her after a Disney villain." I rolled my eyes.

"Well Alyssa will have to get used to it." George chuckled. "Scarlett Healy, has a ring to it."

"It does." I nodded.

"I'm proud of you mate." George looked at me, smiling. "You've came through the other end of a hard few years and now look at you, all clean and now have a baby."

"Mental int it?" I smiled back.

"You're gonna do great." He nodded.

-

I glanced at Alyssa's sleeping body, just hoping and wishing she would wake up and be okay. Scarlett was asleep in my arms, my mum told me I shouldn't let her sleep while I hold her too much or she'll become spoiled. I didn't care right now. I didn't want to let her out of my arms.

"You're only a few hours old but there's so much of this world that I can't wait to show you." I said to her in a low whisper. "I love you more than I'll ever be able to form into words, so I'll try and show you it every single day of my life. I promise I will protect you from this world. I'll help you grow into a good human being. My only goal in life now is to make sure you have a good one."

It felt weird. Alyssa should be awake right now, enjoying these moments. The happiness. The bonding. If there is any God out there. If there is anything that has control over these next few hours, then please let her be okay. I can't do this without her. We need her.

I looked over at Alyssa again and sighed. "Please just wake up." I mumbled.