Seokjin's Touch

Chapter 20

"Not really," I said, leaning against the wall, "so, she's the reason you look like that."

"Like what?"

"Dead."

Namjoon blinked at that before smiling again, dropping his gaze to the ground. "It seems that way, doesn't it?"

We didn't say anything but just stood there in silence for a long while. I liked the silence and I think Namjoon liked it too. Out of all the members, I feel most comfortable around Namjoon and Yoongi the most. For Yoongi, it's because we're the same age. As for Namjoon, well, I feel calm when he's around. He's like an anchor.

Namjoon broke the silence by asking, hesitantly, "If you were in my position, what will you do?"

"About the woman?"

"She's engaged," Namjoon murmured.

My heart throbbed at that. Engaged? Namjoon's involved with a—

"She and I had a past together," he said, quietly. "We were so, so young."

I stayed quiet. Were we really going to talk about this? No, does he trust me enough to talk about this with me? As far as I know, none of the members know about his past with the girl. Only bits and pieces.

"We made stupid decisions," Namjoon said, bringing my attention to him. "I made a decision and left her, breaking her in the process. I never looked back."

"You must have a reason for that," I said, softly.

"There's a decision for every choice I make," Namjoon said, lifting his gaze to meet mine. "But I broke her. Walking away like I did... ruined her, Yumi. She—might never be the same girl she once was because of me."

My heart tightened at that. I've never seen Namjoon looked so broken and lost before. At least, not like this.

"I think... it's best if I give up," he said, running a hand down his face tiredly. "she's with another man."

"But is she happy?" I asked, quietly.

Namjoon turned his eyes to me. "Does it matter?"

"If she was truly happy, I don't think you'd be like this right now. You love her and if she was truly happy... you'd be happy for her too- no matter how much it hurt you."

Namjoon averted his eyes.

"Running away..." I hesitated. "won't solve anything."

His eyes came back to me.

"I think you're both lost here," I said in a soft voice. "Regardless of how painful it was back then, you two aren't the same person anymore, am I right?"

I hesitated before saying, "It's not my place to say this but don't give up on her. Not yet. Not until you know that you've done your best... that's when you can let go. The girl... from what I've heard, she still loves you very much."

"If she marries him..."

Reaching out, I placed a hand on his shoulder and whispered, "If she wants to be with that guy then let her... as long as you are able to tell her about what you really feel in here." I pointed at my heart with my other hand. "Until then, don't give up so easily. That kind of love only comes once in a lifetime, you know."

Feeling that I've said too much, I dropped my hand and then glanced over my shoulder. "Maybe I should head back inside." Turning my gaze to him, I said, "Don't stay up too late."

"Why?" he asked when I turned to leave.

I stopped.

"Why?" he asked again.

I looked over my shoulder. "Maybe I came to care about you. Just a little."

And just like that, Namjoon smiled. Dimples and everything.

"You finally admit it."

I opened my mouth to argue but then he was suddenly in my space, arms wrapped around me tightly.

My eyes widened at his hug. "Wh-what are you doing?"

"Thank you, noona," he whispered, lips to my ear.

I froze.

Namjoon pulled back, hands on my shoulders. Then he smirked. "I'll be cheering for you too."

"Me?" I blinked. "What for?"

Namjoon looked over my shoulder and then winked at me. "Sometimes, we need a push to go in the right direction."

"Huh?"

Namjoon leaned towards me, saying in a quiet voice, "I'll be cheering you and hyung on."

I stared in disbelief.

Just then I heard Seokjin's voice behind us, radiating with barely controlled anger. "What are you two doing?"

I closed my eyes at that before opening them to meet Namjoon's amused ones.