8 Lives (Sequel to Shattered)

Chapter 21: Backstabbed

"Relax our mind?" I questioned, still thinking of how hard it may be to relax our minds. With my mind complexing over the thought of actually trying to see anything that could help me remember the past, I don't think I have the time to relax my mind.

"I can't do that Jacob, I have to keep trying to remember." I ran my fingers through my brown locks and pressed my fingers to my temples.

"No, what you need is to relax. Try and be a person you need to be not what others want you to be." He tried to coerce me into thinking differently, but I couldn't listen to him. I need to be the person I was for myself, not for anyone else.

I'm not doing it for others, I'm doing it so I can actually fit in where I learned to belong. His forehead creased in frustration, which left me flustered at why something I need would be something he wouldn't want for me.

"Don't you want me to remember?" I whispered in a shaky breath that threatened to break any moment.

"You don't need to. You are fine with the way you are." He said each syllable clearly as if making sure it stayed in my head.

"I'm not fine, I need to remember. Why are you so against me remembering my past?" My voice broke and I moved my hand to cover my mouth and waited for the tears to come. Though the tears never dropped, I made the sounds and felt the clenching feeling in my stomach, but no tears spilled.

"No, I never meant that. I just want you to be happy." He moved his strong hands on my slender shoulders and rubbed them slightly. The heat from his body made me want to pull away from him, but his warm brown eyes held me where I stood. I didn't have the heart to pull away from him, his words made the pain in my stomach fade ever so slightly.

"But to be happy I have to know what I was built on." I fought weakly, knowing that his response would revolve around his previous reply. I wished only to know what made me who I was, but with his eyes shimmering down at me I knew that this battle was weakly fought.

"You don't have to worry about who you were, just live in the moment. Right now in this moment I want you to stay and not go back." His warming voice coaxed over my inner battle that I had just grilled up.

Just his voice had me silent and never wishing to will my mouth to open and object to him. Sure I wanted to know more of my past, but I couldn't waste my life all on trying to remember; when something sparks my memory, however little or small, I would cherish each memory as if it were the last source of my life as a whole.

"Okay." I whispered. "I will live life as it goes and never look back." My eyes shone with relief and I saw how his eyes reflected mine. Jacob never let me down before, he is my friend ever since infancy and I knew that I could trust him with my life.

"Lets go?" He questioned, though it came more as a statement as we moved towards the door. Still standing in spot I let my eyes wander around the house; the house that I used to live in. My eyes lingered at the window and I saw that it was fairly cloudy; as a child I remembered the rainy days and clouded weather, much different from the temperature in Arizona.

Looking at myself I realized I didn't have a raincoat on. If it started to rain my hair would frizzle up, and I might get sick. As if reading my thoughts, Jacob began to interrupt my little dilemma.