Renegade

Suffocating

Hailey slowly walked down the sidewalks of town, wandering in and out of stores and through people. The bells of church rang out a few minutes ago. Mama was going to kick her butt to the west coast and back for skipping service this morning. She was willing to take that risk. Her cell phone was blowing up to the point of turning it off completely. Hailey came up to Schmidt's Bakery and walked in. 

"Hi there, Hailey. No church today?" Mr. Schmidt asked kindly, starting her usual iced coffee order before she could even open her mouth. 

"Not today." Hailey replied quietly. He slid her drink across the counter. Hailey went to open her coin purse, but he raised a hand dismissing it. 

"On the house today." He smiled. 

Hailey nodded a generous thank you and walked out the glass door of the bakery back on to the sidewalk. She sipped the delicious vanilla iced coffee with extra cream as she glanced around. She had never really taken the time to sit and enjoy all of the little town she had called home for almost her entire life. She perched herself on the half stone wall by the bookstore, right under the shade of an old willow tree. Sundays were always so busy in town. And church hadn't even let out yet. The sound of drills coming from Lucas's dad's mechanic shop just down the street. Women laughing and gossiping as they entered the boutique Taylor helped manage. She took another sip of her coffee when she felt the presence of someone coming up next to her, nearly scaring her out of her own skin. 

"Boo!"

"Geez, Matt. You're going to give a girl a heart attack." Hailey laughed, placing her left hand to her chest to catch her breath. 

"Sorry." He chuckled, nudging her with his shoulder. "No church today?"

Hailey looked up at him sheepishly, shaking her head. 

"You know, Hails. You can't avoid them forever." He hopped up on the stone wall, turning his head to look at her.

"I'm not avoiding them." Hailey protested, annoyance gracing the words as they came out. 

"Then you can't keep doing whatever it is that you are or aren't doing." Matt replied, a smug look across his face. 

Hailey rolled her blue eyes. Even if Matt was right, she couldn't face anyone right now. Not even her own mother. Word had reached her when she arrived home from vacation. Hailey got an earful plus some for that one. But her Mama did say something at the end of her verbal butt whooping that made Hailey pause. 'The good Lord knows your heart, baby. He's placing this on you for a reason.' 

Hailey wasn't sure what that reason was, but she wished God hadn't trusted her so much. Hailey finished her coffee, hopping down off the stone wall to throw the empty plastic cup in a nearby garbage can. She gave Matt a great big bear hug as she was about to make her way back home. 

"Hey, I'm doing a big dinner on Friday. Come on out to the farm. Have some good food and some drinks." Matt placed his hand on her shoulder, smiling. 

Hailey returned the smile and swiveled on her heel. She heard the bells to signify that church was ending. She nearly sprinted down the sidewalk to get home before anyone had seen her. But it was too late. 

Those once sparkling green eyes had lost their light. The muscular build tense in it's spot next to a group of people. The rough hands across his chest, as though they were guarding his heart. His laugh sounding forced. Hailey stood there on the sidewalk, just watching. She swallowed hard. She wanted to move, but it was like her feet were stuck in quick sand and she was sinking like the Titanic. He looked up from the group, catching a glimpse of her. She tried to turn, but he had already seen her. He took in a deep breath, letting his arms fall to his sides. Hailey bit her lip, fear over taking her body. She started to cry. Not little tears either. She hated the feeling of anxiety. It made her uncomfortable and sent her in to fits. She was silent. No sound. 

Kolby looked down at his brother and followed his gaze across the parking lot to the street. He straightened his stance when he noticed her. He placed a hand on Brantley's shoulder, gesturing his head toward trusty rusty in it's usual parking space. Brantley paused for a moment, staring at Hailey, before he said goodbye to everyone and followed Kolby over to the truck. 

Hailey coughed, trying to clear her throat. She wiped the tears away with both hands as hard as she possibly could. Kolby slowly pulled his truck out of the church parking lot and drove down the road, passing Hailey there on the cracked sidewalk. Kolby had offered up a small wave out of sight of  Brantley. Hailey let her head fall back, looking up in to the beautiful clear blue sky. No clouds in sight. A breeze gracing her skin. 

For being out in the open fresh air, Hailey certainly felt like she was suffocating.