Loving Him

Chapter 18

    Sophie could literally feel the pain he felt reliving this and she wanted nothing more to wrap her hands around him but she didn't dare, not yet.

    "My mum saw it and knew her baby was in danger. She jumped in front of him and refused to let him go near the baby. He was so livid, he hit her. Then hit her again. And again. And again. She started bleeding and at that point, something in me snapped and I just grabbed the nearest thing to me, which was a vase and hit him in the head with it."

    Sophie let out a shrill sound and her hand went to cover her mouth immediately.

    He let out a bitter, humorless laugh. "I didn't kill him, Sophia. But I wish I did. The bastard survived. My mother didn't."

    "Oh my God! Oh my God!!" She barely heard anything else over the ringing in her ear as she tried to take in what he'd just said.

    "It's ironic, isn't it? The one time I worked up the nerve to do something, she dies."

    Sophie could literally hear her heart breaking as it wept for the boy who'd had to go through that at such a young age. She tried to come up with something to console him but all she could come up with was, "It wasn't your fault."

    "So they all said. But if I hadn't listened to her and I'd told someone, anyone. Maybe she'd be alive today. Or if I'd done something faster..."

    "It still wasn't your fault," she insisted.

    He wasn't done. "He then decided to talk, after he'd killed my mother."

    She gave him a confused look, talk about what?

    "The reason behind his change in attitude," he clarified.

   She really wanted to know but she could see how hard talking about it was for him. "There's no reason he could have had to justify what he'd done. You don't have to tell me if it's hard for you."

    He smiled slightly, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Apparently, my mum had been forced into a marriage with him by her parents and there had been someone else in my mum's life before then. But when my mum became pregnant with me shortly after their marriage, she decided she might as well make her marriage work and she did. She fell in love with my dad who was already in love with her."

    "Then why?"

    "Years later, he saw a text message on my mum's phone from a number that obviously belonged to her former lover who insisted I was his and he asked her to give the child back to him."

    "Oh no..."

    "And the bastard didn't say a word to her about it. Didn't confront her, nothing. Instead, he killed her."

    "Alex..."

    "So we did a DNA test and the result showed I was actually his son. I was always his son and he killed my mum for nothing."

    He looked on the verge of tears and this time Sophie didn't hold back as she wrapped her arms around him, giving him as much comfort as she could. He didn't hug her back but didn't pull away either. He closed his eyes, trying desperately to control his irregular breathing.

    They stayed like that for a while, neither talking until he finally pulled away slightly, his eyes boring into eyes.

    "Don't cry for me, Sophia."

    She didn't even realize she was until she felt his fingers on her face, drying the tears that had somehow fallen without her knowledge. It amazed and shamed her that she was able to feel goosebumps, even at that moment.

    "I'm here now, aren't I?" He smiled and pulled away completely. "My dad was sent to prison after his mum, his only living relative refused to hire a lawyer for him. That woman was something else. She raised us, you know. My dad died in prison and my grandparents, that's my mum's parents never fully recovered from what happened to their only daughter. She fell sick shortly after, died a few years later and my grandpa soon followed. It's just Raymond, Angel and I now. We're the only family we've got."

    "I'm sorry, Alex."

    "It doesn't hurt as much as it used to. I decided to get therapy when I was much older and it really helped me and I stopped dreaming about that day for a long time. It came back a few years ago after... After my wife died."

    His wife. Angel's mum. "I'm sorry."

    He shook his head at her. "It's fine. There is nothing for you to apologize about."

    "I'm sorry I made you relive it."

    "I relive it every night. It's only fair I share with the one person who offers me a form of relief. Thank you, Sophia. Really, for listening."

    "Thank you, for telling me," she replied. Her heart felt heavy from everything he'd just revealed about himself and she just knew she wasn't sleeping a wink that night.

    He nodded before turning over, his back facing her. "Goodnight, Sophia."

    "G'night," she replied silently as she also turned her back to him.

*     *     *
    She did sleep, but it was already the earlier hours of morning so when she woke up, it was late and he wasn't beside her. She checked the alarm clock next to the bed. Eight forty five a.m.

    Springing up out of bed, she dashed for the door and down the stairs. Angel was the only thought in her head as she headed into the kitchen and almost ran into Alex who was coming out.

    "Hey, easy," he said, stretching his hands forward to steady her.

    Everything he'd revealed to her the previous night came flooding back to her but she managed to push it to the back of her mind. Instead, she asked, "Angel?"

    "Good morning to you too. Angel has gone to school already. I helped her get ready, don't worry."

    She let out a relieved breath at that. "I'm sorry I woke up so late."

    "You know, you have an habit of apologizing for the most ridiculous things."

    She looked at him then, really looked at him. He was sporting a small smile on his face and he looked relaxed. But then, this was Alex, he was master at hiding what he really felt.

    "Are you okay?"

    His eyes drifted from her face and he took a sip from the glass of water she hadn't noticed he was holding. He then replied, "I'm fine."

    She didn't have any idea what to say next. She had wanted to know all about his scars and now that she knew, she had no idea what to do with it. A part of her had also been afraid he'd close off the way he usually did after revealing all that to her and she was grateful that didn't seem to be happening.

    He spoke again, saving her from replying. "You however, look a sight."

    Realization at how she must look dawned on her. She had barely gotten any sleep at all. She could just imagine the bags under her eyes coupled with her bed head. Letting out a sound that she was sure sounded like that of a dying cat, she turned back around and bolted upstairs. Of all the people that had to see her like that.

    She could hear the sound of his soft laughter as she ran upstairs. On any other day, she probably would have been revelling in that sound but at that moment, all she wanted to so what lock herself up in her room and preferably never come back out.

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