love built on lies ↠ harry styles ✓

2

Said job of mine, happened through her, actually. The club she works at was looking at a replacement for her because she, in the nicest way possible, couldn't be arsed with the constant hours. Seeing as I was in need of a job after being Callum's bitch—assistant for those who need a proper title—did not work out, she came walking in with a massive 'let me hire you' flag waving above her head. My cousin was wary at first, asking me a bunch of questions about whether or not I was sure about it. It didn't make much sense to me because I was only going to be a second-hand manager of the club. Although Rachel trained me the best she could, she still dealt with the more serious inquiries but I was completely fine with that. She's had this same job since she was eighteen, it was a family business, so she knew the ins and outs of everything.

It felt a bit funny, now that the thought came to me. Harry used to work at a nightclub, and whilst a strip club is different, it just reminded me of him. Which was not ideal. The reason why I wanted to fuck him was simply to get him out of my system. That's what I do, right? It's what I've been doing since university. It works.

Well.

It worked. Then Harry came around and suddenly, the one time felt like a simple taster. Needing another round then one more after that to really get over him. Or was that what I'd tell myself after every third round? I could not have that. The idea he gave me years ago—the one about us having something in another life, at another time? That's all it was and all it ever could be. An idea.

Jumping back into everything, to the way things were before we ended whatever was between us seemed too good to be true. Something had changed between us. When I saw him at the wedding, he looked different. He looked at me different. I have been in one relationship all my life. It ended as soon as it started. It wasn't love, it was a fling. On my part, anyway. I couldn't find it in me to love.

There was no time for me to welcome love in my life. Perhaps because I never made room for it. It was for a reason. That being the fact that my life felt to be all over the place. You wouldn't invite a stranger over to your house if your shit is all over the place, would you? No. Of course, you wouldn't. You'd take the time to clean up your messes then arrange a date for when you are both available.

Looking around the apartment, mine was definitely looking more like a pigsty than one of those showhouses on the TV. Ever since Callum moved out, I changed the whole place around. My room became the office slash art room slash extra wardrobe where anything and everything I did not need got shoved inside whilst I made his bedroom mine. He had a bloody walk-in-wardrobe and the other balcony so it was only right if I took that. When he lived here, we managed to fit everything in nice so now that it was just me, I should've been comfortable with the space, right? Well, no. Almost as if he took the space with him, I was running out of storage and I didn't even have anything.

Murmuring curse words under my breath as I walked up and down the apartment, I could not find my wallet anywhere. The watch on my wrist showed I was cutting it close but I needed to find my wallet because my card was in that. Although, once it appeared on the big balcony that looked out onto the street, sitting on the chair where I remember I ordered food earlier today, my car key happened to be missing. Another round of swear words tackled the ground before I spotted them on the sink in the bathroom. Once the key, marked with a peace sign for the brand of the car, was in my grip, I could leave.

Footnote—yes, I've finally managed to get my license last year, at the big girl age of twenty-four and in turn, my cousin got me a car. His promotion clearly doubled, if not tripled his income.

Tonight, was pretty big. Some important people were coming to Devotion so both mine and Rachel's presence were required. She texted me to let me know my cousin was also attending. If that was the case, then I knew it had to be something massive. See, it turned out Rachel and Callum met through work. Wasn't too aware of the kind of business they were in but I've seen my fair share of films and television shows to be onto something. Still, it wasn't a topic I found any interest in bringing up. I was smart enough to know when to keep my mouth closed and when to open it. In this case, it deemed to be in my best interest to turn a blind eye whenever Rachel would pencil things into the calendar to block a whole day out or when she'd request the dancers must get paid double of what they usually do. It meant business I didn't want to dabble into although tonight I'd definitely get a taste of it.