Habits

The Ballad of Duke Baloney

"Ehhh, just a bushy beard forged from a life on the sea," A fish hopped out of his beard and into a barrel filled with water. I became more uncomfortably at the thought.

"What's your angle, Glomgold?" Louie asked, suspiciously.

"What you say there about the Glomthere- what?" A gruff man asked us, helping a buff woman, who wore worker overalls, lead a net full of fish over towards the bait stand.

"You kids disrespectin' our new employee? 'Cuz bait 'n such is a Bully Free Zone," She stood in front of us, hands on her hips. She was tall, butch, and... extremely attractive.

I mentally shook my head. Not the time, Marina.

"I was just introducing myself!" Glomgold stepped from behind the stand and in front of us. He held out his hand. "The name's Duke Baloney. Like the humble sandwich meat," He explained.

I shook his hand, if not out of politeness, then obligation. "Mhm. Nice to meet you " I replied, skeptically.

"More like Mr. Full of Baloney," Louie skepticized, folding his arms. I rolled my eyes.

"Excuse us for one second, Mr. Baloney," Webby pushed Louie away, so I trailed behind them.

"'Full of Baloney!' It's an old-timey expression, you know, it means-" Louie explained, but was cut off by Webby.

"I get it, but this is no time for hilarious, hilarious jokes," Webby decided. "Glomgold's been missing for months, then bam! He's back as a completely different person."

"He's clearly dealing with some kind of amnesia. We gotta help him."

"Maybe let's not? I mean, he was a bad guy before, let's just leave him," I suggested.

"Please, Faking amnesia is like Con Man 101," Louie shot towards Webby, "This is obviously sone kind of setup to trap us and destroy Uncle Scrooge. Once a bad guy, always a bad guy."

Glongold waved towards us, before being caught in the claws of a crab.

"Maybe this bad guy is transforming into a good guy," Webby offered. Her face lit up "Oh! Like a reverse werewolf!"

"For the last time, there are no reverse werewolves! I'm telling you, that's Glomgold!" He pointed.

"How can you be so sure it's him?" She asked.

Glomgold yelled, which caught our attention. He was somehow hanging upside down from a rope, crab still gripping him tight.

"Curse you rope!" He shouted.

"It's him," The kids agreed in unison.

~~~

We all sat into a little pub off the docks, called "Chums." It was homey, and had a nice vibe. But, that wasn't our focus at hand. We were focused on the small, stout man in front of us, that we knew as a crazy, yet unsuccessful, villian.

The tall, buff lady, whose name I learned was "Mann," sat a bucket of ice... and dead fish, in front of Glomgold. Or, Duke, I suppose.

Louie looked at the bucket, before gagging, and holding a hand over his mouth. I rubbed his back in an attempt to soothe him.

Duke sighed. "Sorry for yelling," He sat his hand in the bucket of ice. "Never acted like that before... that I know of," He looked suspiciously, off into the distance.

Louie and Webby shared a look, and I squinted my eyebrows.

Mann laughed. "This guy!" She exclaimed. "Found 'em in the bay with no memories."