THE MONTH OF AUGUST

7

Dr. Rose? Dr. Rose, hello. Getting broken out of my daydream I looked at my coworker. "What I can I do for you today?" "You know what don't worry about do me this one favor go home get some rest you can't focus on any of your task today go and get some rest I will let the administrator know you taking today off I will cover you just pay me back when I need favor one day ok. " Yeah sure thank you so much." "Please get some help Dr. rose" I just looked at him because I felt bad. I didn't need help. "Ok" "Take care now" he yelled after me as I made my way out of the office and out of the building.

"You home early" my brother state as I made my way into the house and towards the kitchen. "Actually, I got sent home" I said because I was emotional, and I was trying not to let my brother see that. "Everything good?" my brother pressed. Holding in emotions I made my way over to the fridge trying to calm my emotions but after grabbing the orange juice and pouring a cup Tears began to flow. "Whoa, whoa, whoa what's the matter?" my bother asked and rushed over to me." To be honest idk" "nah you have to know something you legit crying right now" "I don't want to talk about it I just want you to know that I really do love you and Asia and thanks for letting me have that experience with your daughter it means the absolute world to me." "Ok" my brother said taking a deep breath and making his way over to me to comfort me and hug me. "I love you to A. I am here whenever you are ready to talk" "Ok I am going to go to bed maybe something even better I might just have to take a vacation by myself." "Yeah, maybe that would be good for you" "I'm going to head upstairs to my room." I told my brother. I was so emotional that I had to just let all of my emotions out. Got to my bedroom lit some candles and ran a bath and played some soft music just me time. But soon as I got in the tub, I began to uncontrollably whale. I whaled because I felt disgusting about my decisions I made when it comes to men. Because I don't have children yet, a husband and I made I promise that I feel like I just can't break. If I were to break this promise it would definitely break me if August ever came back into my life. I honestly think I am this sad because I have made the decision to move on and to celebrate my decision, I will be going on vacation somewhere nice and secluded I need a mental break and what better way to do this. Bahamas it is. Getting out of my tub I walked into my bedroom, dried off and then slipped on something comfortable and then called my relator to look at some houses. I need some properties and land. After about 20 minutes of talking to my relator I was able to set up a couple of appointments to view some land and houses. When I finished handling my business I laid down and got some rest and tried to clear my head. I don't mean to daydream like this I just feel like he's what's missing, and I don't really know how to handle that. So, I am going to go away and get some fresh air try to get into life a little bit.

"You done napping?" "Hush up Dilan. Ok so I been thinking" "About?" "Well, I am going to go to the Bahamas" "Word? Yeah, that sounds like fun" "Do you guys want to come?" "I can't I got to work you know" "shoot I was really hoping you would be able to go" "Shit I wish but responsibility calls" "Well ok" "Hey we can always go back" "Yeah you right well I am going to go pack I leave in like two weeks" "When will you be back?" "Like almost mid-October. About the second week into October" "Damn that's a good ass vacation" "Right that's what I was thinking" "so you not going to invite not friends?' "No, I just wanted to be around family well you and baby Asia in particular but you busy so no biggie" "Oh so sweet I do really wish I could go lord knows I could use a vacation right now" "I know I wish you could go I don't want to go by myself "I cried. "You're going to be fine. Go ahead and enjoy yourself A" "Oh you know I will" "Well I am going to go sis love you and see you when you return" "Yes sir" my brother left my house, and I went upstairs to prepare my bags. It didn't take that long to pack unfortunately I packed two comfy outfits and three sexy outfits, and three swim outfits keep it simple. I also made sure I packed toiletries and things that going to be needed for two three weeks because that's how long I am going to be out there. When I finished packing, I went into the kitchen to make some popcorn because I wanted to watch a movie. I decided to watch Pacific Rim one and two. I placed my bag of popcorn in the microwave then went to turn on Pacific Rim the first one, then I went back into the kitchen get my popcorn and then went to go and sit and watched the movie. Halfway thought the movie I couldn't help but to think of the last summer I had with August. I absolutely love how he treated me I always felt special around him. There was one specific thing he did that I won't forget though. I thought it was the sweetest thing.

"A wake up" "August why are you trying to wake me up at this time of night?" "I have a surprise for you." "Sir Do you know what time it is?" I had to ask him in particular. "Come on you going to like it. Please for me" he begged. "Ok fine let me get my jacket and shoes and brush my teeth really quick" I said getting out of my bed. After putting on my shoes and jacket I grabbed my toothbrush and went to freshen up my mouth really quick until august came in the bathroom and wrapped his hands around my waist and kissed my neck. "Hurry up" "I'm coming" I said trying to finish up what I was doing. "Ok I'm ready" he grabbed my hand, and we made our way down the stairs and to the front door then snuck out. We walked to the park the way down the street from our house. "You see that little spot down there by the tree?" August pointed out. "Yeah, that's where we going" "Ok" "Follow me" he said. I did what he told me, and we walked up on the tree he was talking about. There was a blanket laying on the ground with a little outside lamp and a basket of snacks. "Surprise" "oh... I love this" "I'm glad you like it. When was the last time you stared at the stars?" "It's been a very long time" "I know that's why I decided to make that happen tonight. Remember we use to do this when we were younger?" "Yeah, I do" "I am not only your brothers friend, but I am your friend as well just wanted to do something special for you" "Well I so love this, and I am thankful and glad that you did this"

I should have known that wasn't a friendly gesture that was him showing me that he had some type of feelings for me. "Hey girl what you thinking about now" my brother said bursting through the front door. "Oh, just something from when we all were little" "Girl stop lying you know you over there thinking about August" "Well like I said just something from when we were younger it was a super cute gesture that august did for me a year before everything got bad for him." "Yeah, you want to talk about it?" "Yeah, sure why not" "I'm listening" "Ok so it was one summer night August woke me up and he pretty much said he had a surprise for me and dragged me down to the park in the middle of the night. Dragged me down to the park down the street from our house and let me tell you this boy had a blanket set up and also a basket of snacks in the middle of the night and we just laid there a watched the stars and just talked about any and everything until the sun came up then we watched the sun rise and we snuck back in the house and got in trouble by mommy" "Oh shit yeah I remember waking and mommy yelling at the both of yawl. I was trying to figure out what happened that day" "Well that's why we were getting yelled at" "that was overly sweet of August for real." "That was when I knew I liked more than I could imagine" "You really love this man A. to be honest don't stop with the promise you made to him to wait he going to come through" "This not the first time you said this either how you know he going to come through?" "I just know August, just believe he going to come through but continue to enjoy your life now don't stop that" "I sure hope so Dilan" "He going to come through." He said then came over and kissed my forehead and made his way back to the kitchen to get him something to drink. "A!?" "What!" "You leaving in two weeks and you going to be back sometime in November, right?" "Yeah, why you ask that?" "Oh, nothing just wanted to be completely sure" he said walking in the doorway of the kitchen just looking at me "Boy what the hell you looking at?" "You" "You legit being suspicious" "No I'm not he said and then walked up stairs to his room. I couldn't help but to feel like he was up to something. So, I called his phone just to ask him that specific question. "Hello?" "I can't help but to feel like you are up so something" "I'm not up to something sis I just wish I had someone to love me as much as you love August that's legit a different kind of love. I wish someone loved me enough, just like that" " aww you will find that one day don't give up" "Yeah I know sis love though" "Love you to Dilan" I said hanging up. I sat on the couch in complete silence for a while and then turned the TV off and then walked up stairs to my bedroom. Work in the morning.