Lost (Irondad fanfic) [re-write] DISCONTINUED

The Big News

"Calm down, she could be mistaken. It's probably not yours. Yeah. Quite possibly not yours," he muttered, trying to calm down.

He was gravely mistaken.

***

The car came to a slow stop in front of a rather nice apartment building, which did not help Tony's anxiety, because now, he was sure she was not after money from him. He leaned a bit so he could talk to Happy, "You can go wherever you want, don't wait for me here, it might be a while before I finish this thing,"

"Sure thing, Boss. Are you sure you're okay?" His driver asked concern etched on his face.

"Yeah...yeah, I'm peachy," he said, getting out of the car.

He stared at the building in front of him. He can change his mind and go home, right? He can just forget about it all, even if it turned out to actually be his. The kid can just grow up not knowing who his real father is. Amy said she was engaged, so it will defiantly have a father-figure. 

No, you can't think like this. 'Be responsible for once in your life, Anthony!' His father would certainly say (shout) this at Tony if he was still alive. Tony took a very deep breath and walked to the entrance.

The apartment was on the second floor, and even though there was an elevator, Tony chose to take the stairs. He felt the dread grow more and more with each step he took. Unfortunately, he reached his destination quite quickly despite climbing the stairs slowly. He strode over to apartment 616 and hesitated before knocking on the door twice.

The door flew open and Amy appeared, "Oh, thank God. You actually came,"

"Were you not expecting it?"

"Of course I wasn't. It's you we're talking about,"

Tony swallowed thickly and stuffed his sweaty hands in his pockets. "Come on, let's go for a walk. Ian, my fiance, isn't here,"

Tony agreed silently. She grabbed her jacket and keys and came back to Tony. She closed the door and locked it.

***

The two of them walked down the streets. They were empty since everyone was at work. Tony kept glancing at the small bump that was a little visible. "I know it's a big shock," Amy said.

"Oh, yeah, it is," Tony laughed nervously.

"I know it's a big thing to ask you this, and I'm sorry for saying it so blatantly, but will you keep him?"

Tony stopped in his tracks. Shocked at her question and at the last word she said, "Him?" he asked, suddenly out of breath. Amy sighed.

"Shit. Yeah, it's a boy... Fuck--yeah, I'm sorry,"

Tony leaned on one of the shop's windows and buried his face in his hands. Him. Him. It's a boy. He is going to have a baby boy. "Tony?" Amy's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Are you okay?"

"Peachy,"

"Sure. Let's go, there's a coffee shop over there, we can sit and talk,"

Tony followed her into a small and cozy coffee shop. It was warm inside, a stark (pun not intended) contrast to the cold outside.

Tony ordered a black coffee while Amy ordered a mocha. They sat on a table in the back so Tony would not get recognized. They sipped on their drinks silently, neither of them daring to initiate a conversation until Amy had the courage to, "You still hadn't answered my question,"

"Hmm? Oh," was Tony's response.

"'oh' doesn't answer it,"

Tony hesitated. "Stark, you know I can't keep him. I'm getting married soon, and Ian can't raise a kid that isn't his. Yes, he may love him, but it's not the same,"

"Well, what makes you think I can take care of a child, huh? I barely take care of myself,"

"Do you really want him to be put in the system? Thrown from one foster family to the other? Getting neglected and possibly way worse?"

"The system isn't that bad. They always exaggerate it in movies,"

"Oh, please!"

"Besides, I have a drinking problem,"

"Well, good thing you have five months to get over it,"

Tony took a large sip of his coffee, drinking half of the cup in one sip, "You know I can't,"

"Tony, please..." Amy's tone was now turning into a pleading one. Tony tried not to have a mental breakdown. Contrary to popular belief, Tony did want to have kids, but the fear of turning out like Howard terrified him to his core. He anxiously tapped on his cup, holding it so tight he felt it might shatter in his grasp. He took a deep breath (he seems to be doing that a lot lately) and released it slowly.

"Alright, I get it. It's fine--well, it actually isn't-- but I understand your point-"

"I'll do it,"

Amy stopped rambling, "What?"

"I'll take him. Putting him in the system would not be better than what my father did,"

"Is that why you were scared? You didn't want to turn out like your dad?" Amy's voice was soft and gentle.

"You have no idea how he was. He was so cold and calculating. I've never heard him say 'I love you' to me once,"

"I'm sure there was a reason behind it,"

Tony scoffed, "We're talking about a man whos happiest day was when he threw me into boarding school. There was no reason, he was just being an asshole to his only son," 

"Well, maybe it's time for you to break the cycle of shame," she smiled softly at him.

Tony's lips twitched into a small smile, "Yeah, I guess so."